Making way back ... home?

It's almost 3 and I can't sleep.

The week has passed so quickly, and oddly. It's not even half a year since I'm gone to HK to work but already I feel the distance and the not meeting of minds.

CNY is a great time for me to come home because of the public holidays and weekends, which give me more time at home instead of a mad rush to do everything over a weekend

but it's a bad time to meet up with friends. Understandably... since cny = family time and visiting and weekdays are working days.

I'm not pushing my will on people to meet up with me. I was happy to have time on my own, not working, just shopping and people watching or even just lazing at home, falling asleep on the couch.

And I do not wish to have situations where people feel obliged. It shouldn't be that way.

Friends whom i've not managed to meet and catch up, i'm sorry... but you guys will be part of the reason for me to come back home the next time i do. :)

The ones whom I did meet and we had such a great time - thanks. It was really good seeing all of you and sharing the comfort that while the world is spinning ever so quickly, there is always one hour (or more) to spare to build our special moment. ^ ^

A profile pic

I never knew how much pain a profile pic can cause

I had wanted to cry with you and say that everything is gonna be alright

but you do know that no one can help you walk out of it besides yourself.

And remember this

it's not just all sunshine and smiles -

Whatever is not posted, is the grey which is best kept secret.

The full story

Here I am
finally back home.

I had to call up jetstar to enquire for available tickets. Their system showed all tickets being sold out. I had a good 5 min chat with the operator, complaining about how ridiculous it is that I missed my flight, even when I checked in well ahead of 40 min!

So this time round, Jason made sure there's ample time to get to the airport, check in, go through immigration, and called to make sure I stay put at the boarding gate.

I felt like it was de javu all over again.

So in case I haven't told you, here's the full story... of how I missed my flight on that fateful thursday night.

I had arrived at the airport perfectly - remembering all the stuff I had to take home. Checked in my luggage, gone through immigration, and even walked past the boarding gate.

But for some reason, I thought I had sufficient time to go and buy some stuff.

See, my flight is at 815pm. From all my previous late-for-flight experiences, I had always managed to board the plane even when it's time for the plane to take off. My manila flight is the best case in point (I even had to throw away my skincare lotion, cos I was late for check in too).

But no... not with this flight.

I arrived at the boarding gate at 800pm. Another 15 min before the plane takes off. But 5 min too late - the ground staff told me the coach to the plane had already left.

What?!?! Coach to the plane??? How can I forget that this budget does that???

I tried to argue my way through, in hope of getting a buggy to take me to the plane, but NO.... unfriendly and unhelpful ground staff refused to budge.

"Go to Airline services counter."

And so I did, and so obviously the plane would have taken off.

And so I found out there are no other flights that evening, nor the following day. SQ, CX, UA... all fully booked -- Are there that many people going back to sg from hk?!?! Apparently.

And so I panicked, the thought of being stranded in hk, and missing CNY at home was terrible. Worse, my phone batt was going flat.

I made my one phone call and I ended up bawling my eyes out. Jason asked if I was kidding him. I wished it was all a nightmare and I'd wake up and everything would be alright.

The line was cut off before any solutions were offered. Phones at the airline services counter are just for internal use. And I have just a couple of coins (at times like this, I know i should have carried the damn heavy hk coins with me).

I reached for the payphone and I made the most difficult call that night - back home, to my mum. The first thing she asked me, "So soon reach sg already?" And I bawled once more. And before we could end the call properly, i ran out of coins.

It's great that there's free wifi at the airport and a bf who checks his bberry religiously. "He can pacify my mum", I thought.

So, no flights to sg, no other available ticket (and I don't want to pay and be waitlisted and having to wait at the airport), I made my way back to my hk home, WITH my checked-in luggage. Can you believe it?!?! They didn't even load my luggage on the plane!

This is indeed a series of unfortunate events which could have been prevented if:
1. the ground staff had been more proactive and helpful and assist me with calling the airline staff right away (the travelling time from gate to plane is only 3 minutes ... yes, I timed it this time)
2. the airline had identified passenger who had checked in luggage, went through immigration, so surely she must be loitering (or lost) in the airport somewhere AND make a final call for her throught the public announcement system OR her mobile -- why the hell do airlines get our contact details for??? so they can send direct emailers to junk up our mailbox????
3. the passenger had been advised that there will be a coach to the plane during check in and that would take time.

And of cos, I admit that I made the mistake of being late (but not THAT late).

Later during the night, after jason calmed my nerves and went through a list of solutions... he asked if there's anything I had learnt from this ordeal.

Yeah - never take freaking budget jet and be more demanding when you need immediate assistence.

Sigh, everyone is amazed that I can miss my flight - and in such a silly fashion too.

I guess I have run out of luck.

All the previous close-to-missing-my-flight encounters have finally drained me away of any luck.

I missed my flight back to Singapore.

It sucks. BIG TIME.

I don't even want to think about it now.

Living on a rush

Rush

Rush in

Rush hour

Rush out

Rush

I'm constantly living (or leaving) in a rush.

Yesterday was a complete rush.

No toilet visits,

no lunch,

no time to waste.

Surprisingly gives me a high.

I get a high typing furiously and watching alphabets and words appear just as I think them.

I got a high packing up and cleaning up my place last night, knowing I'd be on the flight home tonight.

Rush.

A mad airport rush in 4 hours' time. :)

Is winter gone already?

Is winter gone already?

I woke up this morning and didn't feel the shivers.

Stepped out of my apartment and I could feel the heat building up.

My overcoat was redundant.

Is winter gone already?

Please don't let it be gone so soon.

my tooth dream

It is either the lack of discipline to put my retainers on faithfully, all the time except when I'm eating...

or the feeling that something is really amiss.

my teeth started to misalign a little...

and in my efforts to 'straighten' them and forcing the retainers back on,

one tooth fell out.

The gap was unmistakable.

I let out a horrifying scream

and gladly found myself waking up from this nightmare.

I did a quick search on 'tooth dreams' and this may probably be the closest interpretation I found:

"The next time you dream about losing teeth, before trying to figure out what it means, ask yourself how the dream made you feel. Oftentimes, it is not the dream of the teeth falling out that creates the disturbance to the psyche but the feelings that accompany the dream.

There is often a feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness--the teeth are coming out and there is nothing the dreamer can do to stop the process. Sometimes teeth fall out, sometimes they are simply missing, sometimes they crumble away. Whichever way they make their exit, the dreamer is left with not only a gap in her smile, but a hole in her heart when she awakens.

Tooth loss dreams may also symbolize a fear of abandonment, of being left behind with no recourse. Look at your relationships and see if any of them are leaving you with feelings of insecurity.

Another interesting way of translating tooth loss dreams may be a fear of giving away too much information, a spilling of secrets, or a fear of being lied to."

I don't want to have another tooth losing dream.

Ignorance is bliss?

Ignorance is bliss?

Is it really?

What happens at the point when you're unexpectedly transported out of the state of ignorance?

you'll feel pain multiplied

and you'd wish you aren't so stupid to believe

and that ignorance is not bliss.

The winter freeze

HK observatory has issued a COLD warning, even indicating danger of Frost in the New territories area and up on the hills.

I'm very glad I managed to get enough warm clothing over the weekend, and SALE is everywhere. Now I just have to figure out where to put away all these coats and jackets once winter is over.

I can see wrinkles on my neck. How scary is that?!?! It is not just wrinkles... I would call them deep grooves - I've never had them when I was in Singapore. This winter freeze is drying up my skin like never before. The skin on my hands and shin crack like the surface of any drought.

I hope it's not too late to slap up on moisturisers.

Can I say....

I am really happy this week?

- I kept to my new bio clock: waking up early getting to work by 9am and getting in bed before midnight, doing a little reading just before i knock the lights out.

- It was a productive work week: lotsa time-sensitive assignments which I managed to meet. Even though I spent the whole of Saturday in the office, it was good.

- I have a new desk at work! It's at this cozy corner with a mini bird's eye view on who's walking about and much closer to the pantry too! And I did a little spruce cleaning of the new work area - sqeaky clean. Finally a new phone with screener so I'd know who's calling. :)

- Keeping up with the gym runs (though not seeing the results yet, but closely monitoring it)

- J has been the sweetest: dropped by for a surprise lunch; took me to chinese desserts just cos the night was too cold and I had asked for something nice and warm in the middle of the night.

- Friday dinner with Ernest, (and friend) and zhijin was great. Ernest looked like a burnt African chicken and zhijin nicely snugged in her cardigan and coat. It was like 10 degrees on fri night or something and I was so severely unprepared for it.

- And so happy to see zhijin happy with my xmas gift! :))

Can I say I'm very proud of myself?

YES!

my player went haywire today and just kept on playing a buzzing sound just when I was about to leave the office to hit the gym -
so I decided to skip gym since I don't think I will be able to survive the treadmill for 45 min without any music.

I wonder if my body was the one resisting the workout instead of my player.

Had been reading a friend's blog for the past couple of days and he spoke about the differences between music and noise. To quote him, "The difference between them is that, while noise can only fill space—banish it—music can both fill and create space. Or, I should say, music can do either. Depending on the sensibility of the listener, that is."

Interesting thought, I've never looked at music/noise like that. Our primary school education would have taught us that matter is anything that occupies space and has a mass.

Sound would not be classified as matter, similarly for shadows and light. But creating space is something entirely different yea?

It adds a whole new dimension to our living life. :D

Time on my hands

I finally got some time to cut my fingernails today. And it's only because one of it cracked. I hadn't cut it in months?

It made me wonder how I manage my time to do everything else, but neglect some others - which can be really important.

Nail - cutting is important - the time you take for personal grooming is therapeutic.
The little seconds / minutes you sneak in to do mindless stuff - things which are technically not productive.

On the other hand, I had a productive day at work today - almost crazy. I didn't even have much time to go to the loo. Friday please hurry come.

I read two chapters of Tony Parsons' My Favourite Wife (which mich left behind). My aim is to finish reading this before I head back to SG. 16 more days to go. :)

Salsa me away

When Becky said Salsa is a mix of everything put together
I had the strangest thought of 'Rojak'.

So the first Salsa class didn't end too badly :)New York style.

I've done other types of dance - Hip hop and cheerleading are not such contact sport/dance and you actually can count the beats. With Salsa, it brings a whole new world of beats - drums - music to the ears.

J said he's tone deaf, but he actually did pretty well - at least we weren't stepping on each other's feet.

Though I realise I have a problem doing partnering. The guy takes the lead in Salsa dancing, but I have a hard time following the cues.

Towards the end of the night, J thanked me for taking him along - saying he enjoyed the class and dancing, I thanked him for agreeing to come along, not everyone agrees to my whims. There were only 5 guys in a class of 20+!

Back home, when I closed my eyes, I feel the beat in my heart, hear it in my ears, and I want to dance it with my feet and I can't wait for more Salsa steps to learn next week :)

First working day of 2009

Officially, today is my first working day of 2009.

Everyone was still basking in the holiday fun (hangover) last Friday

while I nursed my runny nose and sore throat.

The weekend had been an alcohol rehabilitation of sorts

and also paid off some of my sleep debts.

I was so tired,

I couldn't even make myself go for a quick dinner

with fion and co,

so I merely lugged my big bag of new winter clothing home

and hit the sack before midnight.

Had a quick chat with Guy -

it's been sometime since we touched base.

He highly recommended The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

and said I would love the movie;

I'll catch that when it starts showing in HK,

or Singapore when I make it back later this month.

He thinks I'm too driven, so a little mellowness would help me -

take slower steps, have some quiet time alone

and figure out where I'm standing.

Sound advice -

which I took.

I went for facial

and got myself running at the gym again.

Travelled a little further,

over to the Kowloon side

and Jason and I had our hands on Mario racing game at the dingy arcade.

Sunday was spent alone;

except I took some time in the morning to visit the doc again

and took a little more time to buy stuff at Sogo

and a lot more time just going through past facebook photos and old emails.

I spend a lot of time going through the past...

I wonder if that's even a good use of my time.

I thought about my new year resolutions

and then I thought about how i'm going to keep to them.

tough.

but I'll still try.

And i did make it.

Early wake up in the morn, got to work at 8am.

Good breakfast and start to a new day.

Busy day at work - productive, but not quite effective

Went to the gym and sweat it out.

And I blogged

and I read.

And I'm going for salsa tomorrow night.

Finally!

After much talk of wanting to learn it properly...

2009 is going to be fantastic.

I just have to keep the fun going.

:)

photographic memories

I have a total of 146 photo albums on facebook in a time frame of 1.5yrs... and that is not even counting the ones I posted from friend's albums.

That makes 8 albums in a month, 2 albums a week!

it's amazing how time and memories are captured, isn't it?

Happy New 2009

A happy new year, a happy new you.

It is a ritual for most people, including myself, towards the end of every year, to reflect and think upon events in 2008, but I've been too sick and busy to do that.

I had let myself get sucked into the holiday partying despite not being in the best of health.

Time for celebrations - for a fantastic 2008 passed, and a fabulous 2009 ahead.



Sometimes, I get too neurotic for my own good.
Just like tonight.
Perhaps the cold is really getting to me.

I need to curl up in bed.

the final week of 2008

I cannot believe I am spending the last week of 2008

nursing my severe sore throat,

incessant coughing and dripping nose.

I have done pretty much nothing,

except take my pills,

get in and out of sleep and watch time tick by.

Totally not doing anything constructive.

I spent 2 hours screaming in pain on bed this afternoon.

the worst cramps ever.

I had wanted to just roll out of bed,

knock my head and pass out,

so I won't feel the pain anymore.

Maybe I'm getting punished for all the indulgence over the xmas period.

period.

突然好想你

五月天's new album is making me cry a lot and I cannot explain why.

Whenever the slow songs play, I'd take a 5 min break and listen to it, just listening to it.

Such songs tug the heart strings at the deepest corners of my heart and I start to sniff.

突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

A dream, or a plan?

Yun sent me this link: http://www.colinandyenyen.com/wordpress/paved-with-good-intentions/
which I spent a good one hour plus reading, and digesting
(amidst checking facebook and catching up on world news)

and if you don't have that much time to read,

here's something I picked out from colin and yenyen.

"Consider these 2 stories. Which is closer to yours?

You wake up everyday and work from Monday to Friday, and often, Saturday too. If you finish work early, you and your partner go to your parents’ place for dinner and see your child for a few hours.

If you work late, you buy a packet of char kway teow from the hawker centre but eat it at home because it’s too warm to eat there. You’re not crazy about the job but you know that if you keep at it, you can afford a car in 3 years’ time, and in 5 years’ time, buy a condo close to the primary school you want to send your kid to. Your conversations with people are either for the purpose of networking, work, or for familial obligations you cannot avoid.

On weekends, you play golf with your friends at your country club or watch a movie with your partner. Once a year, you go on a ten day vacation to New York, London, or Paris, and when your children are big enough, Disneyland.

Alternatively, you wake up and you have no idea what is going to happen today, tomorrow, 6 months or a year later. Ironically, because of this uncertainty, all possibilities exist for you.

You can be the Prime Minister of Singapore, you can make a movie, you can cook a meal you have never cooked before, eat at a place you have never eaten before, you can color your hair red, you can skip instead of walk, you can volunteer at the school you have always wanted to volunteer at, you can write a book, or you can have a baby even though you don’t have a maid.

You have conversations with people who set your heart palpitating and your mind on fire. Your weekday is not so different from your weekend because everyday you are thinking, creating, and more important, imagining.

Most of us recognize the first story and its pursuit of the 5 Cs of “cash, condo, car, country club, credit card.”

It is the Plan, which imposes a conclusion on you, and you work in order to make all the pieces fit. A bus stop advertisement I saw recently said it best: “We spend all our youth chasing money, and when we attain it, we spend all our money chasing youth.”

A Dream, on the other hand, carries you on its wings to worlds that your heart and mind have never known."

Yun commented I had gotten out of the Singapore mould and am starting to live my dream.

Perhaps, to a certain extent.

I would have been perfectly satisfied going forward with the Singapore Plan.

Those were the stuff me and mr goh used to discuss.

It is an enviable plan if all pieces of the jigsaw fit.

But I had been greedy and I wanted more.

I didn't want to be kept in.
so I made the choice to move to Hong Kong. I want to see what other places have to offer me,
and how much further I can push myself

My new job allowed me to do more thinking,

we try to be creative and innovative.

I wake up every morning, knowing the stuff I have to get done,

and not knowing the other ad hoc stuff which needs to get done.

There is a wee bit of uncertainty and element of surprise.

I have conversations with people who make me think, and laugh,

and set my heart racing.

Perhaps I'm now transiting between the first scenario to the second.

I still think about the first scenario sometimes... it's such a comfort zone.

I also start to wonder
if I'm just making myself to believe that I'm pursuing my dreams;

when in fact, I'm still following the blueprint,
just in a different city, with different characters.

There is only so much people can plan,
but a lot more which we can dream about.

It's not easy to live your dream;
but we all try, at least.

sniff sniff

Winter is here again. It's funny how you'd wake up one morning and find that the weather's changed completely.

I like winter, other than the fact that it always makes me sick - sniff sniff.

Last year, i told mich that i'd want to remember this feeling for a long time - of the cool breeze on my face under the sun; of snuggling comfy in bed a little longer in the mornings; of not having to worry about bad hair days ... while thinking i'm ending my hk hiatus.

I had never thought things would take such a turn and i'm back here again.

the past two weeks have been busy, as usual.

I was a butterfly one night; and a pirate the next.

j's trailwalker 100km hike lasted 30 hours.

my helim balloon lost much of its helium after the long wait, and after all the whacking in the wind. I still cannot imagine why anyone is so passionate and enthusiastic about doing a 100km hike, or go for foot massages....

I prefer to go cycling (actually, more so rollerblading -

but I think the roads in HK is far too bumpy).

A good get away from work - which never seems to be ending, nor stops to pile.

our little weekend get away at ho chi minh city really took my mind off work.

My fav part of the trip has got to be crawling through the cu chi tunnel, and riding in the city, and of cos the food! I wish I know some basic Vietnamese though, it's always nice to chat up the locals. :)

my sneezing frenzy has just started again. better head to bed.

why am I always not in the best of health when you come visit, mich??

in love, in memory

Read this from somewhere and
thought it's really well written -

so i'm sharing it with you. :)

Life is an act of resistance

and of re-existence;

we live,

re-live.

But everything is held in our memory.

We are what we remember,

our memory is our nomadic home.

As the plants or the emigrant birds,

the memories have the strategy of the light.

They go forward,

like the rower who moves from behind to see better.

There is a pain similar to a toothache,

to the physical loss,

and it is to lose a memory that we love.

Those essential photos in the album of our life.

That’s why,

there is a kind of melancholy that does not catch,

but nourishes freedom.

In that melancholy

as foam on the waves,

our dreams arises.

你不是真正的快乐

你不是真正的快乐



真的?

人群中 哭著

你只想變成透明的顏色

你再也不會夢

或痛

或心動了

你已經決定了

你已經決定了

你靜靜 忍著

緊緊把昨天在拳心握著

而回憶越是甜

就是越傷人了

越是在 手心留下

密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割

你不是真正的快樂

你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了

也決定不愛了

把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這世界 笑了

於是妳合群的一起笑了

當生存是規則

不是 你的選擇

於是妳 含著眼淚 飄飄盪盪 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快樂

你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了

也決定不愛了

把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂

你的傷從不肯完全的癒合

我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河

難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了

然後才後悔著

你值得真正的快樂

你應該脫下你穿的保護色

為什麼失去了

還要被懲罰呢

能不能就讓 悲傷全部

結束在此刻

重新開始活著

I am finally getting my life back.

:)

Halloween friday was a blast!

The Bledisloe cup was a blast!

Second round of halloween partying on sat night was a blast!

Getting 7 hours of sleep over 2 nights is crazy,

but I'm lovin' it!

Retail therapy

Retail therapy

works.

I have never splurged so much on myself one weekend
when I'm back in Singapore.

A bunch of winter clothes, skin care, a new watch, hairdo, accessories.

Staying in causeway bay has much to contribute.

On top of that, I try to justify my irrational spending
by how hard I work during the week.

And according to Kain, our HK salary has just grown in value by 10%.

Great way to spend those HK dollars ... on sing dollars stuff... which I did:



These are just too pretty to resist! from www.ochacream.com

Although zhijin said I can probably find similar stuff at mongkok... at much cheaper price....

oh well. I need some pampering.

I find that I'm pampering myself a lot more here in HK.

Am I really that unhappy here?

hurting

Love is like my retainers - a life time, if not long term, commitment.

I am supposed to wear it all the time, but I don't.

I don't wear it when I have to eat and I need the space and I need to make sure I don't crack it.

I keep it snugly in my bag, and I'll wear it every now and then.

If I lose it, my teeth will go out of alignment.

So how can this love continue when you're not here with me?

I hope you understand that I tried - I really did.

I just got reminded of the pain again.

why?

the joy of giving

Yesterday, zhijin told me she received a bouquet of flowers

and it made her day.

That's when I start to think how happy I was when I received flowers

out of the blue, for no particular reason.

I get caught up with work these days that I've stopped doing those extra little something for people, the ones I care about.

I recalled those days in sec school when we'd pass the 'chocolates' - Person A writes a note to Person B, along with a bar of choc, and B will do so for C and C for D and it goes on until A receives something.

Full circle.

So I did something today

to let you know I care about you(s).

The giver of joy receives double the joy.

-for jason-
The giver of surprises feels fantastic.

-for michelle-

snapping out of it

I walked out of my office feeling the strangest of feelings this evening

It was as if the entire day had been a dream

my vision blurred as I stepped out of the elevator

strangers whizz past me

I am nobody to them

as they don't matter to me

this is not home

and I want to snap out of it.

Getting active

Yesterday was Chung Yeung Festival - a public holiday in Hong Kong.

Being the pig that I am, it's time to get my big fat ass moving again. So I happily agreed to Kain's invitation to join him and his friends for a game of badminton at Kowloon sports complex early in the morning. It's been some time since I crossed the harbour and made it to the other side. I had forgotten how long it'd take and ended up being '18 minutes' late (yes, kain counted).

The morning air was chilly - perhaps a sign that autumn is soon to be over. We had macs for breakfast and the guys wouldn't stop making fun of me - how I had asked for 'Fan Kaey' (tomato) instead of 'Kaey zup' (ketchup/tomato sauce). Nb. Kain said he would only have Macs in the morning cos the oil they use is the freshest. Man... who thinks of such things???

We had a couple of matches - won some, lost some. I need to perfect my serve and not keep serving 'char siew' for the other team to 'eat'. :P

Two hours and a blink of an eye later, we packed up and left for more food!

Australia Diary Co. - supposedly serves the BEST scrambled eggs and toast. With the egg mcmuffin in the morning, i had a total of 3 eggs in a day. tsk tsk. So much for trying to be healthy.

Dinner was at Tsim Sa Tsui, indian food. Thank you for suggesting that - i know you saw my whining about missing prata. Although they didn't really have prata... it was good. The curry lamb and the chick peas were delicious. The elevator to the restaurant was kinda scary though - very old school.

And it was nice to meet up with your old time friend Steph -

it meant as much to me as it did to you. :)

In bed, I had difficulty sleeping.

I tried my best to nurse an aching body while my mind was still actively running with thoughts.

And it didn't help that I was walking like a crab / pregnant woman and saying 'ouch' under my breath with every step i take throughout the entire day today.

The first flames of October

The first week of October started with a blast - literally.

We were just out of the Hong Kong Arts Centre (HKAC) after watching the Spanish film El Bola. Was on our way to look for dinner food, when we heard loud blasts, and echoes of them. I had thought it was going to rain until I saw the reflections of the fireworks on the buildings and a mad rush of crowd charging in one direction.

We managed to catch it - a good 20 minutes of fireworks, with children around us going Wah Wah WAH each time the blasts went off. I love the red and gold and blue ones the most. The green ones somehow remind me of alien invasion - i don't know why.

You held me in your arms and we just watched the fireworks go off. Watching fireworks together is probably on the list of 'Top romantic things to do' for a lot of people. But somehow, that was not the first thing on my mind.

I thought of the previous fireworks I had watched with my significant others at different points in my life and I start to think that yes, everything beautiful will end - just a matter of when.

If you're lucky, you get the next burst of flames, an ongoing parade of fireworks one after another. If you're not so lucky, you just have to wait for the next parade, some time later. Time .. is relative.

I really shouldn't have thought so much and enjoyed the moment with you, and kiss you and let you know i'm happy to be with you right there and then.

Nonetheless, thanks for making such a lovely evening.

The spanish film was thought-provoking and rather unsettling. It speaks of domestic violence, repressed childhood, inner conflicts and a ray of hope. I was particularly appalled at how kids can taunt one another to play silly games like grabbing a bottle placed right in the middle of a track just seconds before the train whizzes past, with the two players on either side of the track. Winner is the one who picks up the bottle first. Or more accurately, the one who doesn't have his brains flattened by the oncoming train.

It was a very good film, very real. Go watch it if you have the chance.

Dinner was good too - we sat on swings and had too much salad, anti pasti, and pizza. You shared with me stories of your fraternity and we spoke about how our parents fell in love. The night could have gone on with endless conversation if not for the fact that it's a working day the next day and you have to start earning your 'brownie points'. ;)

Rainy days like this

make me miss home much.

Pierced

I did the most amazing thing on myself this morning -

All dressed up and good to go to work,

I realised i forgot to wear the ear ring on my helix.

So, I poked around for 5-10 minutes,

trying to get the ear ring in

until I got fed up.

The piercing has miraculously decided to heal overnight.

So I gave it one hard jab to get it through

Next thing i saw

BLOOD.

Ok, breathe.

Got it through the front,

now gotta stab it right across to the back.

Poked around a bit more

a little bit harder

and the next second later

my vision blurred

I felt nauseous

and wanted to puke

checked my watch

damn. 9.05am

I'm late for work.

Then I collapsed,

and hugged the toilet bowl
and tried to throw up.

I broke into cold sweat,

trembling.

And I passed out,

for a good 15 min.

9.20am

Had to call in sick.

Please don't ever try this at home, alone.

Hurt like hell, and I thought i was going to die.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world.

The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.

Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw-

I've been reading this book - Hongkongitis- which speaks of the stuff which makes people love and hate Hong Kong so much at the same time. It's a funny read so far, until this chapter that I read tonight.

It spoke about changes and non-conformity, and how Hong Kong is stifled culturally, that the people have no generation gap at all to speak of. Cantopop is popular across generations, with the same formulaic pop star idols. Fashion/arts wise, it's ripped off Japan / Korea. The old aren't afraid to follow what's trendy for the young. 'Hong Kong has no generation gap.' By and large, this is a generalisation.

I start to think about how true this chapter is. Does not having a generation gap means you're not progressing as a society? Is it an Asian thing to conform? Are we taught not to rebel against exisiting social norms? I guess to a certain extent, we tend to slip into our comfort zones. If something works well, why would you want to 'rock the boat'?

Maybe when the journey gets too smooth sailing, you'd rock it just for the heck of it.

Typhoon Hagupit

So the Hagupit is here.

I'm so bored at home

I spent my boredom online shopping

and hell, did i spend

on frivolous stuff.

But

I

LOVE

these!!

feather, polka dotted and orange monarch butterflies.

Lovely. :)

Kissing a fool

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
You'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them steal your heart from you

People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Question

Question:

How considerate should one be in a relationship?

or in a relationship that no longer exists?

mid week wed

It's mid week. i'm halfway there.

it's a wonder how the simplest things can make people happy.

i'm happy today because of my new pink tumbler.

i'm happy today because it's one day closer to the weekend. :)

and i had a good laugh at a frog's joke today.

Post mid Autumn blues

I had mean to get to the office and clear some work this morning. really.

it's 2.30pm and I'm still at home.

the INERTIA is simply too great - even though office is less than 10 min away.

I was up til 3am tidying up my place.

Finally got my hangers (100 of them, and still not enough!) and put up the clothes.

Neighbour says my place looked like a pig's sty, worse than his bunk in army. :(

TTT: Things take time.

I'll make sure i do a little something to spruce up the place every weekend.

Weekends in HK is always incredibly packed. We should have 4 working days in HK.

Fri night used to party; sat to recuperate; sunday to go out shopping/eating; monday to stay home and prepare for another intense work week.

Why is the pace in HK so fast?

'farewell' dinner for Ernest - before he flies off to SF and NY.

Ggoh in HK: bunking with me on Wed/Thurs night; totally sleep deprived and malfunctioning at work on friday. :) But it's all good.

Mid autumn BBQ with fion's family.

I think being around children makes me happy. These kids can just jump around and laugh a lot. Kids still want to play with lanterns and candles. :)

The big kids put up the lanterns, and helped the little ones light theirs.

The chat session with fion's mum & aunts turned out to be a male bashing one.

Marriage, husbands and kids - how do you manage the relationships and your own expectations? It's depressing to hear 5 women telling the same story of how romance will give way to security. I don't want to buy that. I want my heart to flutter, and my smile to make someone's day.

So there goes the mid autumn fest- it's almost like a second CNY. The only things that were missing that night?

Mooncakes and starfruits, and you.

There's a private sale of several beauty product brands for our office on Friday, on a first come first serve basis.

So, my colleague sent in her order - 1 xxx brightening cream.

And the reply was: 'Sorry, out of order'

I didn't find anything odd with that reply until now.

I guess i've slowly become assimilated into the HK english speaking culture.

my world is a battlefield

Every morning, I wake up, preparing to fight another battle.

I strut to the battlefield and find myself armed with literary ammunition.

Time is always against me and it doesn't help that you're in a foreign land.

I'm slowly being buried beneath piles of print outs.

There are times when I feel like throwing in the towel but something keeps me going

at the end of the day.

A friendly call, a few chuckles, the love you bring.

And I wake up to a better morning.

my moment of weakness

I thought I made up my mind
I don't like playing games
but sometimes the uncertainties
are more than I could name

You made two steps forward,
and I took three steps back
Love is our own tango
the rhythm shouldn't be wrecked

In my moment of weakness
I allowed you to take the lead
not knowing when you're spinning me
not knowing what I need

But still I'd love to tango
with different partners, different beat
Only secretly waiting for someone special
to sweep me off my feet

Such is my moment of weakness
such a dreamer, some call a fool
'the music's gonna stop one day
and, silly, you may not realise it's through'

oh, love is such a tease

Miserably sick

I can't remember when's the last time I felt so

ill and miserable.

I have always been familiar with the drill -

not enough sleep > fall sick > pop pills > sleep > get better.

Since sunday evening I know I'm coming down with a cold.

Been shuttling btn my new apt and CWB to get stuff/ideas for my new apt and also settled my mobile line and broadband. My mind REALLY didn't want to work on sunday. Most of the time, i'm spaced out. So glad mr neighbour and mr j offered their brains. The many measurements and fixtures drove me nuts.

Panadol cold & flu extra has ceased to be effective for me. Monday was spent rubbing my nose, and working under pressure. I didn't even know how i managed to survive the day. Was almost knocked down by the tram - that's how dizzy and faint I was.

Continued to drag my body to work on Tues but the world was just twirling around me. It helps that there are friends who care. :) Added warmth to a freezing body. Felt so miserable that I really wanted to cry. Thanks kain for accompanying me to the hospital. Your lecture about 五脏六腑 and 胃筋 made me laugh a lot.

And on wed I called in sick. I have never slept so much continuously. I was bedridden and my body ached so badly. And all I can remember is... falling into a deep abyss - not wanting to wake up.

I don't want to be so sick ever again. : (

Typhoon Nuri

Besides the Olympics and food, I think typhoons in HK excite every single person around you in Hong Kong. In the office, some religiously tune in to radio stations every 15 min; others surf the Observatory website for updates; or rely on email fwds. On the streets, people's footsteps are hurried, most are armed with a brolly. You hear people speaking of numbers 1, 3, 8 and even 9 and 10 (typhoon signals).

I must say the HK meteorologists are pretty accurate - before 8am they announced Typhoon signal 8 - meaning all schools, offices will be closed. People stock up on food, and stay home. I was already all dressed and ready for work and Typhoon Nuri is well on her way to HK (why do typhoons have female names?)

What the heck. I want to feel the wind. :)

And indeed I felt it. The scaffolding across the street shook slightly. Plastic bags and rubbish twirled like mini tornadoes and my hair was all over the place. Interestingly, the ladies were all in pants and there were hardly any cars on the streets (since insurance does not cover moving vehicles during typhoons).

Armed with my pink Giordano brolly bought last night, I made my way to the office. :D

Oh, last night too, I thought I had lost my super girly blue umbrella at TsuiWah after dinner. Only realised it when having GuiLingGao with kain, which must have been an hour or so later. My first thought was, it couldn't be there any more, someone must have taken my pretty umbrella. His thought was, no harm going back to take a look. And I'm SO happy we did.

失而复得的快乐 is velly wonderful.

Lost in HK

Lost in HK

I missed my bus stop on my way home

and before I knew it,

I was heading to the unfamiliar.

It was a good view of the Kowloon skyline, with the coast right next to the highway.

I thought of the highway in singapore with view of the esplanade, city skyline and I miss it more.

Nights like these make you miss home.

A place I call my own

=A place I call my own=

I finally decided on my apartment!

After viewing 6 units I decided that this one is it.

Being HK, you pay monkeys for peanuts

but I really like this unit.

White washed walls,

newly done up decor,

clean big bathroom (by HK standards),

BIG bed (to accomodate my visitors from Singapore!),

clean stylish kitchen...

and I wake up to a view of some colourful residential buildings and mountains.

It's really a lovely cosy unit.

I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to do it up.

Only bad is, I have no place to put my wardrobe.

But other goods - my neighbour is a Singaporean guy - who turned out to be my friend's friend,

and since we both stay on the top level, we have access to the rooftop!

I can't wait to move in!

我不.難過

我不.難過



I haven't heard this song in a while.

Last night, someone picked this song while at ktv

and it opened the floodgate of emotions and memories once more.

I remember the series of events that night

ever so vividly.

It was raining on our way home - the rain slapped the car windows without mercy.

We parked at the usual spot where he'd drop me off.

I was trembling, maybe he was too.

I don't know if there's any other way I could have said it better.

I know I've hurt him so badly, no matter how many times I said sorry

how tightly we've hugged.

I know I've broken a good man's heart - someone who loved me so very much

I miss him.

As much as I reason my thoughts, feelings some times overwhelm me.

我不难过
这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流
我也不懂

Survived my first week at work

Been in and out of meetings this week and

it's great meeting new people and sitting in teleconferencing sessions

Everything is so systematic here.

It's pretty easy to follow,

but I just need to get the workflow sorted out in my head.

The HR is organising a Wii Olympics competition which I think my team will most likely take part in

My singaporean colq has been extremely kind and helpful and it definitely feels better to have her around

My Hk colqs appear shy at the beginning but they're slowly warming up :)
Had lunch with one of them today and it was good

I wonder if age is catching up with me

I feel the passion in my team members towards research work and I always feel excited to meet a like-minded individual loves her job as much (or more) than I do.

And how small the world is - a sec sch classmate actually works two cubicles away from me and I only realised that on Thursday! She's been walking up and down and we didn't realise until we were introduced to each other - and then we screamed (in the office) - haha.. very typical of st nicks girls. :) It's good.

That is what's amazing about living - with some people, you tread on parallel lines. With others, the paths are crossed. Or perhaps, it's just a matter of time before all paths criss cross. Such is 'Yuan'.

Also found out today that someone intended to say goodbye. A goodbye I may have never known if not heard from another source. The news brought back a flood of memories.

All things take time.

First day at work!

First day at work

I need to brush up my cantonese.

Our HR is damn nice and they even sent an email round to remind us to have plenty of fruits and there are bananas, apples and golden kiwi in the pantry!

Still feel a bit out of place with everyone yakking away in cantonese in the office.

I've taken the step, now I need to do the climb.

Number counting

Clothing items to be shipped:

88 blouses

50 dresses

30 shoes

30 belts

19 pants

14 skirts

14 coats/jackets

13 sports wear

9 sweaters

9 scarves

5 caps

2 nightwear

A hell lot of toiletries and

1 Heavy heart

- - - - - - - - - -

The movers came by this morning to get my stuff. I'm finally done with packing (!)and filling up the inventory list for insurance purposes. Whatever I took 2 weeks to pack, these guys took 20 minutes.

I'm amazed at the number of clothing I have. Seriously I probably only wear 20% of what's in my wardrobe. Had to give two suitcases of clothes to yun for resale, and filled up another few bags of clothes to pass to her again.

Reality check - A conservative estimate of the value of all the items amount to 20k. Time to curb my shopping desires.

4 more days to go.

You're right - there're bound to be things which will be still left undone.

Gum scaling

The most excruciating pain - gum scaling.

A harrowing 5 min experience -

You see the tools used

sharp as needle

slicing your gums.

Your mouth becomes bloody in an instant.

You clench your fist,

and pray it be over soon.

Why do we put ourselves through such torture?

Brush and floss and rinse daily.

My girly times

Mambo jambo

According to wikipedia:

Mambo Jambo,

commonly known as Mambo nights,

is a theme clubbing night held every Wednesday at Zouk in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. It is highly popular among the younger segment of the clubbing crowd in Singapore, and a Mambo experience is often regarded as an initiation ritual for many beginners into the local clubbing scene.

And I'm singing....

Oooh baby..do you know what that's worth...Oooh Heaven is a place on earth.... and i was dying inside to hold you... I couldn't believe what I felt for you... In the summer rain...Doesn't matter what I do now.. doesn't matter what I say... cos I'm guilty ... guilty as a girl can be... only you can set me free... I stand accccuuuuuused of love in the first degree.

Lazy Tuesday

Had lunch with this lady I've known for 5 years or so.

I feel her disappointment and I really appreciate her understanding and kindness. I guess she's not the only one who feels surprised and puzzled at the outcome.

Sometimes we have to learn to make our own choices - and accepting whatever good or bad outcomes. Life is an experience, isn't it? Live it without regrets, or... learn to deal with your regrets - a good cry helps.

No one knows for certain what's going to happen - there is no blueprint. Life is fluid like that.



I had my last gym session today with fav instructor and I still hadn't the courage to walk up and say hi. This may ... just be one of my tiny regrets.

1nitestand

I love comedy night!

A pity I always forget the jokes told and I'm always bad at (re)telling jokes!

I was really impressed with the host - his mind twists faster than a tornado.

The other two acts were both Australian music comedians - changing lyrics to a tune and singing along.

One made a string of songs using just 4 chords - that was fun.

Here they are - Axis of Awesome - quality of video not fantastic though...





Food for thought: Why are enjoyable moments transient?

Today is a very sad day

'Today is a very sad day...."

That's the first thing boss said to me when he walked by my desk this morning.


I looked out, and indeed, it looked grey.


Went to Dempsey Hill to grab some bites and drinks at Margaritas.


Mexican food - haha - reminded me of my days in Mexico city.

Headed to Handle Bar for more drinks.

Spoke about HK, about relationships....

Boss gave this analogy which I quite like:

'Everyone has their favourite mug, but once their favourite mug has a crack, do they throw it away?

No, people then start to store their favourite mug in a corner. But what's the point of keeping a cracked mug? It's just a matter of time before you chuck the cracked mug away - so better to do it sooner than later.'

Well, he obviously told it more convincingly.

Mae said something else, which her shrink told her:

'People are always evolving and if relationships don't evolve together with the persons, someone's bound to be left behind.'

Boss also gave me a farewell gift which he kept saying I can have it exchanged in T&co singapore if I don't like it... but I love it! I don't think I can say my thanks enough for the times spent at I-A-L.

I don't like farewells - I cried my heart out. It's gonna be worse on 10th aug. gosh.

It's my last day

Here I am

on the eve of my last day of work

pen in hand

I clearly remembered my first day of work

where we had our first lunch

my first project and the ones that followed

my first overseas assignment in Taiwan

I wrote my 'thank you's to Boss and (ex) colleagues

who had been so extremely sweet -

he wrote:

'Dear all,

Poh Chin has decided to leave for the bright lights of Hong Kong and Synovate. In the long history, I have rarely tried so hard to keep an employee. Sadly, despite my every effort, she could not be induced to stay.

Poh Chin has been with us for over three years, in which time she had become a consummate research professional, mastering every aspect of the job from interviewing, to analysis, to project management and even business development. Her last day in the office will be this Friday July 25th.

She will be sorely missed.'

And I will miss them too.

A brand new skin

I love my new blog skin!

I suppose the past is not easy to let go...

it's the past that shape me into who i am now.

The memories will always stay with me.

I had a new hair cut today too -

stephen thinks it's cool.

I think i need to get used to the look.

We went on a quick tour to mustafa this evening

where I happily got myself a new casio old school watch. :)

It's a period of changes -

new hair cut / colour

new specs

i'm removing my braces (finally!)

Perhaps change is the only constant.

The past the past

An old friend told me recently

he's starting to read my posts since day 1.

It made me go through my posts again

and it's strange how I can still feel the exact emotions felt when I pen them

the scenes flashed across my mind were vivid

I guess this site puts forth a pretty complete picture of what's been happening

over the past 3 years.

I'm starting a new chapter in my life in a couple of weeks' time.

maybe it calls for a shift in blog site too, u think?

Of packing

I have been packing

my belongings, my memories.

It's tough going through these

knowing some you can bring along with you

while others you must leave behind.

Haven't been in the pink of health lately

so spent quite some time staying at home

I woke up today and spent a little longer in bed

looking out the window, watching the ceiling

listening.

I want to remember this.

And there are the other million things I remember

of you.

Do I want to remember these?

perhaps it's not even an act of remembering

it's just a very natural association

and there are too many of these associations

in every corner i turn.

A friend advised, and asked if i'd regret this

As much as I want to say yes

I really don't know

I guess I can only find out

by moving forward.

it still stabs like a dagger through the heart.