just stable... or is it..

leen and meesh asked me how would i describe my r/s with mr goh.

i thought, and said. Stable.

Steady. Non-turbulent. Going on fine.

I really cannot think of anything else.

I'd like to have answered, exciting, fantastic, still feels like the first time.

but i can only wish...and for the first time in so many months, i really missed him.

It's not so much of his physical presence, since I've gotten used to him not being around as often as when we were in school, and it wouldnt be fair to compare with those times in school vs at work now.

something.. is.. just... missing...

we shared dreams and laughter before,
we share good night, "(he) i'm home (at some unearthly hour) and (me) i'm going to bed" sms-es now.
we made plans for the future,
but the future seems so far, too long ahead. and the need to focus on work and career could well be taking a toll on our r/s. I completely understand that we need dough to survive = No dough, no love. But i'm kinda hanging on by the thread now.

and he knows, cos i told him. It's really heartening to see him making an effort. no matter how small. but, there are always buts. i want to see/feel something more.

sigh

I need a pit-stop, to refuel my engine. to get the adrenaline pumping again.
I don't want to tire him on this r/s but i think i'm tiring myself. I know i don't want to give up, i won't give up. "I need to believe, that something extraordinary is possible."- Quote from 'A Beautiful Mind' which we watched at leen's place today.

and alice said to john's friend "when I look at John, I see the man I love and though he's no longer the same man now, I'm still the woman who is very much in love with him." or something like that.

and John Nash said this at the end of the show,
"I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You're the only reason I am... you're all the reasons I am.

Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart."

pls, let me find those reasons and more, again.