The announcement made on Tuesday morning was depressing, as well as shocking.

All along we were assured and reassured that we will brave the weather together, but this is apparently not the case.

I probably love my colleagues more than the work I do - good relationships make working more bearable.

Being at work on tuesday was not as pleasant. All the textbook cases of how layoffs affect staff morale, it's all true. I couldn't make myself focus at work, and didn't want to stay up to finish up the work.

It's good that jason asked me out to grab a bite and drinks. Beirut at lkf had this middle eastern mystery feel to it, with lotsa gwailos drinking and smoking shishas, and looking so happy.

My thoughts kept running back to the scenes this morning. Even in such a relaxed atmosphere, I couldn't let go. It hurt to see them leave - the ones who are truly kind to me.

I asked jason if it's bad, unprofessional of me to let my emotions run haywire in the office, and he said it's fine, i just need to let it out of my system.

And that, i did,

coupled with goldfish eyes to work this morning.

rainy monday blues

As I looked out of my window,

part of the peak is covered with mist.

the swimming pool opposite sounds its announcement to get people of out the pool before it closes.

I have just done a pore minimising mask, and the sk2 treatment mask and watched 3 episodes of csi.

how's that for a lazy monday? ;)

Friday was equally lazy - I stayed home and cleaned up my apt.

This place gets neglected most of the time

since I spend more hours in the office than I do at home.

It's great to be 'home' (if i can call this home)

and get some me-tim, do some thinking through, or not thinking through.

Caught 'he's just not that into you' on thursday night - a good chick flick - just what I needed.

The same thoughts on love and relationship circled.

I finally wrote back

and I know we have the same emotions running whenever 突然好想你 plays.

The skies have finally cleared up,

but why don't I see any rainbows?

vices

We are the vices team.

Just done with one alcohol report,

and right onto a cigarette proposal.

And I thought I finally have some days to breathe....

March - in a post

I did not manage to keep up to my resolution of updating this space as and when i like.

But i've been missing in action, not without good reasons.

Work is just never ending. I guess I shouldn't be worried that I'll be the next to be axed. heh. The thought leaders are ever thinking of ways to give clients the edge. the buzz word is V A L U E. Same research methodology, same quality control, same data output? Ours provide more VALUE. This qtr is all about winning.

Life wise, march is a month of birthdays. mine, and a special few others. :)

Eileen was in HK to visit! Eating around, and shopping were realllllly good! I'm now a proud Giordano ladies member. More discount is more savings! and.. according to Dr. poon, i have a space suit at home. Later when asked jason if the jersey jacket looked like a spacesuit, he pointed out that my down jacket looked more like one :(

I got a new pair of Agnes B shades - the red matches my hair colour!

Mum and bro spent 9 days in HK too. I fed them full, and my bro gained 3kg. His bungy jump scared me legs weak. When jason saw me, he asked why i was trembling. To think i had actually wanted to do the jump with my crazy ass bro! We had such a packed schedule that after they left, i slept for 15 hours.

It was really nice to have my mum here on holiday. She's always so happy when she's here, but gets teary eyed when she's about to leave. The unit is empty without the two of them with me. I definitely need to get a new place once the lease ends. the landlady is simply too irresponsible.

The past few days have been raining. It gets cold, and my nose always starts to drip.

rain rain pls go away. Don't ruin my disney weekend.

Hong Kong skyline

I read the perfect description of the HK skyline:

"The helicopter flew straight up ... amid the skyline of Hong Kong, not looking at it but hanging in it, hovering like some giant insect by the steel-and-glass cliff face of the Bank of China, with the serried ranks of tower blocks marching up mid-levels to Victoria Peak, a green summit jabbing out of a drifting necklace of pearly mist, the eagles circling above.



There was nothing corny about the Hong Kong skyline. It was not like Shanghai where you always knew that the grand old buildings on the Bund were really just the beautiful leftovers of a colonial dream. This was a place that had been untouched by any ideology, a city that had never worshipped any god by money. Even now, reclaimed by the motherland, Hong Kong was all that the great cities of the mainland aspired to be." - Tony Parsons

photos -amazingly taken by Hina.

What's the possibility of ....

Dining in a restaurant and the people sitting at other tables around you order exactly the same stuff as you?

Picking up a 500 dollar note on the floor?

Working past midnight on consecutive nights?

Being within 500 m of your home, and it suddenly pours?

Simple joys

The pink fluffs this week:

- Coming back to a quiet room after hearing an entire day of noise, and waking up to your voice

- Knowing you remembered the words I most casually spoke when I've forgotten them myself

- Having something in mind, but someone else voice the exact same words out (what's the probability of that?)

- You, satisfying my every whim and fancy and agreeing to share my fats

- Catching up on each other's life, and never feeling the distance

- Laughing myself silly :D

This is what you shall do

This is what you shall do

Love the earth and the sun and the animals

Despise riches

Give alms to everyone that asks

Stand up for the stupid and crazy

Devote your income and labour to others

Hate tyrants

Argue not concerning god

Have patience and indulgence toward the people

Take off your hat to nothing known or unknown

Or to any man or number of men.

- Walt Whitman

If only we can define and live a life like that.

MIA

I know... I've gone MIA, again...

but not without a good reason,

or many good reasons.

Had to catch up on work after the CNY break.

Finally went to watch Zaia - but it didn't live up to my expectations

The Venetian bed was sooooo comfy -

too bad I caught a cold that weekend.

I always fall sick when I return to HK - not good.

And.. i've been addicted to gossip girl. :)

time to catch another episode before i go to bed.

xoxo.

Making way back ... home?

It's almost 3 and I can't sleep.

The week has passed so quickly, and oddly. It's not even half a year since I'm gone to HK to work but already I feel the distance and the not meeting of minds.

CNY is a great time for me to come home because of the public holidays and weekends, which give me more time at home instead of a mad rush to do everything over a weekend

but it's a bad time to meet up with friends. Understandably... since cny = family time and visiting and weekdays are working days.

I'm not pushing my will on people to meet up with me. I was happy to have time on my own, not working, just shopping and people watching or even just lazing at home, falling asleep on the couch.

And I do not wish to have situations where people feel obliged. It shouldn't be that way.

Friends whom i've not managed to meet and catch up, i'm sorry... but you guys will be part of the reason for me to come back home the next time i do. :)

The ones whom I did meet and we had such a great time - thanks. It was really good seeing all of you and sharing the comfort that while the world is spinning ever so quickly, there is always one hour (or more) to spare to build our special moment. ^ ^

A profile pic

I never knew how much pain a profile pic can cause

I had wanted to cry with you and say that everything is gonna be alright

but you do know that no one can help you walk out of it besides yourself.

And remember this

it's not just all sunshine and smiles -

Whatever is not posted, is the grey which is best kept secret.

The full story

Here I am
finally back home.

I had to call up jetstar to enquire for available tickets. Their system showed all tickets being sold out. I had a good 5 min chat with the operator, complaining about how ridiculous it is that I missed my flight, even when I checked in well ahead of 40 min!

So this time round, Jason made sure there's ample time to get to the airport, check in, go through immigration, and called to make sure I stay put at the boarding gate.

I felt like it was de javu all over again.

So in case I haven't told you, here's the full story... of how I missed my flight on that fateful thursday night.

I had arrived at the airport perfectly - remembering all the stuff I had to take home. Checked in my luggage, gone through immigration, and even walked past the boarding gate.

But for some reason, I thought I had sufficient time to go and buy some stuff.

See, my flight is at 815pm. From all my previous late-for-flight experiences, I had always managed to board the plane even when it's time for the plane to take off. My manila flight is the best case in point (I even had to throw away my skincare lotion, cos I was late for check in too).

But no... not with this flight.

I arrived at the boarding gate at 800pm. Another 15 min before the plane takes off. But 5 min too late - the ground staff told me the coach to the plane had already left.

What?!?! Coach to the plane??? How can I forget that this budget does that???

I tried to argue my way through, in hope of getting a buggy to take me to the plane, but NO.... unfriendly and unhelpful ground staff refused to budge.

"Go to Airline services counter."

And so I did, and so obviously the plane would have taken off.

And so I found out there are no other flights that evening, nor the following day. SQ, CX, UA... all fully booked -- Are there that many people going back to sg from hk?!?! Apparently.

And so I panicked, the thought of being stranded in hk, and missing CNY at home was terrible. Worse, my phone batt was going flat.

I made my one phone call and I ended up bawling my eyes out. Jason asked if I was kidding him. I wished it was all a nightmare and I'd wake up and everything would be alright.

The line was cut off before any solutions were offered. Phones at the airline services counter are just for internal use. And I have just a couple of coins (at times like this, I know i should have carried the damn heavy hk coins with me).

I reached for the payphone and I made the most difficult call that night - back home, to my mum. The first thing she asked me, "So soon reach sg already?" And I bawled once more. And before we could end the call properly, i ran out of coins.

It's great that there's free wifi at the airport and a bf who checks his bberry religiously. "He can pacify my mum", I thought.

So, no flights to sg, no other available ticket (and I don't want to pay and be waitlisted and having to wait at the airport), I made my way back to my hk home, WITH my checked-in luggage. Can you believe it?!?! They didn't even load my luggage on the plane!

This is indeed a series of unfortunate events which could have been prevented if:
1. the ground staff had been more proactive and helpful and assist me with calling the airline staff right away (the travelling time from gate to plane is only 3 minutes ... yes, I timed it this time)
2. the airline had identified passenger who had checked in luggage, went through immigration, so surely she must be loitering (or lost) in the airport somewhere AND make a final call for her throught the public announcement system OR her mobile -- why the hell do airlines get our contact details for??? so they can send direct emailers to junk up our mailbox????
3. the passenger had been advised that there will be a coach to the plane during check in and that would take time.

And of cos, I admit that I made the mistake of being late (but not THAT late).

Later during the night, after jason calmed my nerves and went through a list of solutions... he asked if there's anything I had learnt from this ordeal.

Yeah - never take freaking budget jet and be more demanding when you need immediate assistence.

Sigh, everyone is amazed that I can miss my flight - and in such a silly fashion too.

I guess I have run out of luck.

All the previous close-to-missing-my-flight encounters have finally drained me away of any luck.

I missed my flight back to Singapore.

It sucks. BIG TIME.

I don't even want to think about it now.

Living on a rush

Rush

Rush in

Rush hour

Rush out

Rush

I'm constantly living (or leaving) in a rush.

Yesterday was a complete rush.

No toilet visits,

no lunch,

no time to waste.

Surprisingly gives me a high.

I get a high typing furiously and watching alphabets and words appear just as I think them.

I got a high packing up and cleaning up my place last night, knowing I'd be on the flight home tonight.

Rush.

A mad airport rush in 4 hours' time. :)

Is winter gone already?

Is winter gone already?

I woke up this morning and didn't feel the shivers.

Stepped out of my apartment and I could feel the heat building up.

My overcoat was redundant.

Is winter gone already?

Please don't let it be gone so soon.

my tooth dream

It is either the lack of discipline to put my retainers on faithfully, all the time except when I'm eating...

or the feeling that something is really amiss.

my teeth started to misalign a little...

and in my efforts to 'straighten' them and forcing the retainers back on,

one tooth fell out.

The gap was unmistakable.

I let out a horrifying scream

and gladly found myself waking up from this nightmare.

I did a quick search on 'tooth dreams' and this may probably be the closest interpretation I found:

"The next time you dream about losing teeth, before trying to figure out what it means, ask yourself how the dream made you feel. Oftentimes, it is not the dream of the teeth falling out that creates the disturbance to the psyche but the feelings that accompany the dream.

There is often a feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness--the teeth are coming out and there is nothing the dreamer can do to stop the process. Sometimes teeth fall out, sometimes they are simply missing, sometimes they crumble away. Whichever way they make their exit, the dreamer is left with not only a gap in her smile, but a hole in her heart when she awakens.

Tooth loss dreams may also symbolize a fear of abandonment, of being left behind with no recourse. Look at your relationships and see if any of them are leaving you with feelings of insecurity.

Another interesting way of translating tooth loss dreams may be a fear of giving away too much information, a spilling of secrets, or a fear of being lied to."

I don't want to have another tooth losing dream.

Ignorance is bliss?

Ignorance is bliss?

Is it really?

What happens at the point when you're unexpectedly transported out of the state of ignorance?

you'll feel pain multiplied

and you'd wish you aren't so stupid to believe

and that ignorance is not bliss.

The winter freeze

HK observatory has issued a COLD warning, even indicating danger of Frost in the New territories area and up on the hills.

I'm very glad I managed to get enough warm clothing over the weekend, and SALE is everywhere. Now I just have to figure out where to put away all these coats and jackets once winter is over.

I can see wrinkles on my neck. How scary is that?!?! It is not just wrinkles... I would call them deep grooves - I've never had them when I was in Singapore. This winter freeze is drying up my skin like never before. The skin on my hands and shin crack like the surface of any drought.

I hope it's not too late to slap up on moisturisers.

Can I say....

I am really happy this week?

- I kept to my new bio clock: waking up early getting to work by 9am and getting in bed before midnight, doing a little reading just before i knock the lights out.

- It was a productive work week: lotsa time-sensitive assignments which I managed to meet. Even though I spent the whole of Saturday in the office, it was good.

- I have a new desk at work! It's at this cozy corner with a mini bird's eye view on who's walking about and much closer to the pantry too! And I did a little spruce cleaning of the new work area - sqeaky clean. Finally a new phone with screener so I'd know who's calling. :)

- Keeping up with the gym runs (though not seeing the results yet, but closely monitoring it)

- J has been the sweetest: dropped by for a surprise lunch; took me to chinese desserts just cos the night was too cold and I had asked for something nice and warm in the middle of the night.

- Friday dinner with Ernest, (and friend) and zhijin was great. Ernest looked like a burnt African chicken and zhijin nicely snugged in her cardigan and coat. It was like 10 degrees on fri night or something and I was so severely unprepared for it.

- And so happy to see zhijin happy with my xmas gift! :))

Can I say I'm very proud of myself?

YES!

my player went haywire today and just kept on playing a buzzing sound just when I was about to leave the office to hit the gym -
so I decided to skip gym since I don't think I will be able to survive the treadmill for 45 min without any music.

I wonder if my body was the one resisting the workout instead of my player.

Had been reading a friend's blog for the past couple of days and he spoke about the differences between music and noise. To quote him, "The difference between them is that, while noise can only fill space—banish it—music can both fill and create space. Or, I should say, music can do either. Depending on the sensibility of the listener, that is."

Interesting thought, I've never looked at music/noise like that. Our primary school education would have taught us that matter is anything that occupies space and has a mass.

Sound would not be classified as matter, similarly for shadows and light. But creating space is something entirely different yea?

It adds a whole new dimension to our living life. :D