A profile pic

I never knew how much pain a profile pic can cause

I had wanted to cry with you and say that everything is gonna be alright

but you do know that no one can help you walk out of it besides yourself.

And remember this

it's not just all sunshine and smiles -

Whatever is not posted, is the grey which is best kept secret.

The full story

Here I am
finally back home.

I had to call up jetstar to enquire for available tickets. Their system showed all tickets being sold out. I had a good 5 min chat with the operator, complaining about how ridiculous it is that I missed my flight, even when I checked in well ahead of 40 min!

So this time round, Jason made sure there's ample time to get to the airport, check in, go through immigration, and called to make sure I stay put at the boarding gate.

I felt like it was de javu all over again.

So in case I haven't told you, here's the full story... of how I missed my flight on that fateful thursday night.

I had arrived at the airport perfectly - remembering all the stuff I had to take home. Checked in my luggage, gone through immigration, and even walked past the boarding gate.

But for some reason, I thought I had sufficient time to go and buy some stuff.

See, my flight is at 815pm. From all my previous late-for-flight experiences, I had always managed to board the plane even when it's time for the plane to take off. My manila flight is the best case in point (I even had to throw away my skincare lotion, cos I was late for check in too).

But no... not with this flight.

I arrived at the boarding gate at 800pm. Another 15 min before the plane takes off. But 5 min too late - the ground staff told me the coach to the plane had already left.

What?!?! Coach to the plane??? How can I forget that this budget does that???

I tried to argue my way through, in hope of getting a buggy to take me to the plane, but NO.... unfriendly and unhelpful ground staff refused to budge.

"Go to Airline services counter."

And so I did, and so obviously the plane would have taken off.

And so I found out there are no other flights that evening, nor the following day. SQ, CX, UA... all fully booked -- Are there that many people going back to sg from hk?!?! Apparently.

And so I panicked, the thought of being stranded in hk, and missing CNY at home was terrible. Worse, my phone batt was going flat.

I made my one phone call and I ended up bawling my eyes out. Jason asked if I was kidding him. I wished it was all a nightmare and I'd wake up and everything would be alright.

The line was cut off before any solutions were offered. Phones at the airline services counter are just for internal use. And I have just a couple of coins (at times like this, I know i should have carried the damn heavy hk coins with me).

I reached for the payphone and I made the most difficult call that night - back home, to my mum. The first thing she asked me, "So soon reach sg already?" And I bawled once more. And before we could end the call properly, i ran out of coins.

It's great that there's free wifi at the airport and a bf who checks his bberry religiously. "He can pacify my mum", I thought.

So, no flights to sg, no other available ticket (and I don't want to pay and be waitlisted and having to wait at the airport), I made my way back to my hk home, WITH my checked-in luggage. Can you believe it?!?! They didn't even load my luggage on the plane!

This is indeed a series of unfortunate events which could have been prevented if:
1. the ground staff had been more proactive and helpful and assist me with calling the airline staff right away (the travelling time from gate to plane is only 3 minutes ... yes, I timed it this time)
2. the airline had identified passenger who had checked in luggage, went through immigration, so surely she must be loitering (or lost) in the airport somewhere AND make a final call for her throught the public announcement system OR her mobile -- why the hell do airlines get our contact details for??? so they can send direct emailers to junk up our mailbox????
3. the passenger had been advised that there will be a coach to the plane during check in and that would take time.

And of cos, I admit that I made the mistake of being late (but not THAT late).

Later during the night, after jason calmed my nerves and went through a list of solutions... he asked if there's anything I had learnt from this ordeal.

Yeah - never take freaking budget jet and be more demanding when you need immediate assistence.

Sigh, everyone is amazed that I can miss my flight - and in such a silly fashion too.

I guess I have run out of luck.

All the previous close-to-missing-my-flight encounters have finally drained me away of any luck.

I missed my flight back to Singapore.

It sucks. BIG TIME.

I don't even want to think about it now.

Living on a rush

Rush

Rush in

Rush hour

Rush out

Rush

I'm constantly living (or leaving) in a rush.

Yesterday was a complete rush.

No toilet visits,

no lunch,

no time to waste.

Surprisingly gives me a high.

I get a high typing furiously and watching alphabets and words appear just as I think them.

I got a high packing up and cleaning up my place last night, knowing I'd be on the flight home tonight.

Rush.

A mad airport rush in 4 hours' time. :)

Is winter gone already?

Is winter gone already?

I woke up this morning and didn't feel the shivers.

Stepped out of my apartment and I could feel the heat building up.

My overcoat was redundant.

Is winter gone already?

Please don't let it be gone so soon.

my tooth dream

It is either the lack of discipline to put my retainers on faithfully, all the time except when I'm eating...

or the feeling that something is really amiss.

my teeth started to misalign a little...

and in my efforts to 'straighten' them and forcing the retainers back on,

one tooth fell out.

The gap was unmistakable.

I let out a horrifying scream

and gladly found myself waking up from this nightmare.

I did a quick search on 'tooth dreams' and this may probably be the closest interpretation I found:

"The next time you dream about losing teeth, before trying to figure out what it means, ask yourself how the dream made you feel. Oftentimes, it is not the dream of the teeth falling out that creates the disturbance to the psyche but the feelings that accompany the dream.

There is often a feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness--the teeth are coming out and there is nothing the dreamer can do to stop the process. Sometimes teeth fall out, sometimes they are simply missing, sometimes they crumble away. Whichever way they make their exit, the dreamer is left with not only a gap in her smile, but a hole in her heart when she awakens.

Tooth loss dreams may also symbolize a fear of abandonment, of being left behind with no recourse. Look at your relationships and see if any of them are leaving you with feelings of insecurity.

Another interesting way of translating tooth loss dreams may be a fear of giving away too much information, a spilling of secrets, or a fear of being lied to."

I don't want to have another tooth losing dream.

Ignorance is bliss?

Ignorance is bliss?

Is it really?

What happens at the point when you're unexpectedly transported out of the state of ignorance?

you'll feel pain multiplied

and you'd wish you aren't so stupid to believe

and that ignorance is not bliss.

The winter freeze

HK observatory has issued a COLD warning, even indicating danger of Frost in the New territories area and up on the hills.

I'm very glad I managed to get enough warm clothing over the weekend, and SALE is everywhere. Now I just have to figure out where to put away all these coats and jackets once winter is over.

I can see wrinkles on my neck. How scary is that?!?! It is not just wrinkles... I would call them deep grooves - I've never had them when I was in Singapore. This winter freeze is drying up my skin like never before. The skin on my hands and shin crack like the surface of any drought.

I hope it's not too late to slap up on moisturisers.

Can I say....

I am really happy this week?

- I kept to my new bio clock: waking up early getting to work by 9am and getting in bed before midnight, doing a little reading just before i knock the lights out.

- It was a productive work week: lotsa time-sensitive assignments which I managed to meet. Even though I spent the whole of Saturday in the office, it was good.

- I have a new desk at work! It's at this cozy corner with a mini bird's eye view on who's walking about and much closer to the pantry too! And I did a little spruce cleaning of the new work area - sqeaky clean. Finally a new phone with screener so I'd know who's calling. :)

- Keeping up with the gym runs (though not seeing the results yet, but closely monitoring it)

- J has been the sweetest: dropped by for a surprise lunch; took me to chinese desserts just cos the night was too cold and I had asked for something nice and warm in the middle of the night.

- Friday dinner with Ernest, (and friend) and zhijin was great. Ernest looked like a burnt African chicken and zhijin nicely snugged in her cardigan and coat. It was like 10 degrees on fri night or something and I was so severely unprepared for it.

- And so happy to see zhijin happy with my xmas gift! :))

Can I say I'm very proud of myself?

YES!

my player went haywire today and just kept on playing a buzzing sound just when I was about to leave the office to hit the gym -
so I decided to skip gym since I don't think I will be able to survive the treadmill for 45 min without any music.

I wonder if my body was the one resisting the workout instead of my player.

Had been reading a friend's blog for the past couple of days and he spoke about the differences between music and noise. To quote him, "The difference between them is that, while noise can only fill space—banish it—music can both fill and create space. Or, I should say, music can do either. Depending on the sensibility of the listener, that is."

Interesting thought, I've never looked at music/noise like that. Our primary school education would have taught us that matter is anything that occupies space and has a mass.

Sound would not be classified as matter, similarly for shadows and light. But creating space is something entirely different yea?

It adds a whole new dimension to our living life. :D

Time on my hands

I finally got some time to cut my fingernails today. And it's only because one of it cracked. I hadn't cut it in months?

It made me wonder how I manage my time to do everything else, but neglect some others - which can be really important.

Nail - cutting is important - the time you take for personal grooming is therapeutic.
The little seconds / minutes you sneak in to do mindless stuff - things which are technically not productive.

On the other hand, I had a productive day at work today - almost crazy. I didn't even have much time to go to the loo. Friday please hurry come.

I read two chapters of Tony Parsons' My Favourite Wife (which mich left behind). My aim is to finish reading this before I head back to SG. 16 more days to go. :)

Salsa me away

When Becky said Salsa is a mix of everything put together
I had the strangest thought of 'Rojak'.

So the first Salsa class didn't end too badly :)New York style.

I've done other types of dance - Hip hop and cheerleading are not such contact sport/dance and you actually can count the beats. With Salsa, it brings a whole new world of beats - drums - music to the ears.

J said he's tone deaf, but he actually did pretty well - at least we weren't stepping on each other's feet.

Though I realise I have a problem doing partnering. The guy takes the lead in Salsa dancing, but I have a hard time following the cues.

Towards the end of the night, J thanked me for taking him along - saying he enjoyed the class and dancing, I thanked him for agreeing to come along, not everyone agrees to my whims. There were only 5 guys in a class of 20+!

Back home, when I closed my eyes, I feel the beat in my heart, hear it in my ears, and I want to dance it with my feet and I can't wait for more Salsa steps to learn next week :)

First working day of 2009

Officially, today is my first working day of 2009.

Everyone was still basking in the holiday fun (hangover) last Friday

while I nursed my runny nose and sore throat.

The weekend had been an alcohol rehabilitation of sorts

and also paid off some of my sleep debts.

I was so tired,

I couldn't even make myself go for a quick dinner

with fion and co,

so I merely lugged my big bag of new winter clothing home

and hit the sack before midnight.

Had a quick chat with Guy -

it's been sometime since we touched base.

He highly recommended The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

and said I would love the movie;

I'll catch that when it starts showing in HK,

or Singapore when I make it back later this month.

He thinks I'm too driven, so a little mellowness would help me -

take slower steps, have some quiet time alone

and figure out where I'm standing.

Sound advice -

which I took.

I went for facial

and got myself running at the gym again.

Travelled a little further,

over to the Kowloon side

and Jason and I had our hands on Mario racing game at the dingy arcade.

Sunday was spent alone;

except I took some time in the morning to visit the doc again

and took a little more time to buy stuff at Sogo

and a lot more time just going through past facebook photos and old emails.

I spend a lot of time going through the past...

I wonder if that's even a good use of my time.

I thought about my new year resolutions

and then I thought about how i'm going to keep to them.

tough.

but I'll still try.

And i did make it.

Early wake up in the morn, got to work at 8am.

Good breakfast and start to a new day.

Busy day at work - productive, but not quite effective

Went to the gym and sweat it out.

And I blogged

and I read.

And I'm going for salsa tomorrow night.

Finally!

After much talk of wanting to learn it properly...

2009 is going to be fantastic.

I just have to keep the fun going.

:)

photographic memories

I have a total of 146 photo albums on facebook in a time frame of 1.5yrs... and that is not even counting the ones I posted from friend's albums.

That makes 8 albums in a month, 2 albums a week!

it's amazing how time and memories are captured, isn't it?

Happy New 2009

A happy new year, a happy new you.

It is a ritual for most people, including myself, towards the end of every year, to reflect and think upon events in 2008, but I've been too sick and busy to do that.

I had let myself get sucked into the holiday partying despite not being in the best of health.

Time for celebrations - for a fantastic 2008 passed, and a fabulous 2009 ahead.



Sometimes, I get too neurotic for my own good.
Just like tonight.
Perhaps the cold is really getting to me.

I need to curl up in bed.