Duty calls

The spell has been broken - we didn't manage to keep our nightly calls going.

The calls that dragged on didn't matter as much.
So why couldn't I just drop the line citing bad connection, on-the-road, need to go save the world?

Really - how did I get my priorities screwed up?

I couldn't sleep last night.

Do you ever get this feeling...

...of feeling out of sorts.
Feeling you've gone down a rabbit hole, and know not what's in front of you.
Feeling really really blue and everything else looks black and white.
Feeling like a fish out of water.

I've been feeling that, and I can't seem to shake it off.

Great coworkers

I recently came across Penelope Trunk's website when hf shared her happiness project, and the theory of having friends vs. Vulnerability.

She has now become my read during my incomprehensible statistics class.

I especially liked this one today:

"Your assistant is not someone whose top priority is to do the job you don't want to do.

He or she should be someone you want access to because their presence improves your day; someone you have always wanted to make your workday great."

I wish I had been that someone to somebody. Though so far, it seems that an assistant is primarily an extra pair of hands for somebody.

Whirlwind weekends

Just 3 months ago, I was talking about getting my diving course done.

In an unexpected turn of events, I did.

And what an unforgettable experience it was!

I wish I had more time to reflect on the whirlwind events that happened since July....

Leadership Residential Program

Experential Learning Program (Camp)

Diving @ Malapascua

Mad rush of lectures and homework and lectures and homework

Activity-filled weekends

Moon Party/BBQ @ John's private roof top

Macau holiday @ Presidential suite in Venetian

And I'm about to embark on a new adventure soon.

Can't wait!

IPad 2

Technology can progress so fast these days that I don't have time to catch up with it.

The school gave each and everyone of us an iPad 2 as an online academic tool. It's also a green gesture so we'd reduce printing. Though ironically, we had to fill in ~10 pages of forms on our registration day - all of which require our signature and quite a few repeat of writing our personal details over and over.

We had 3 paper forms just for the ipad.

J is skeptical of the use of ipad for school purposes. He likens it to a huge flash drive for us to download our homework from real computers.
Well, I suppose learning should be fun. Let's see if it goes way off tangent.

Now I've joined the I-family and there may be no turning back.

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This week has been good

This week has been good

Cleared the air with a colleague, realigned roles and responsibilities. Hopefully this will work.

Been meeting my classmates quite a fair bit - 1st July yumcha, wanchai lunch gatherings, happy hour. More of them end of this month - can't wait for this new adventure.

Life is not just about work anymore - it's work, school, party and love.

I got a book for Zhijin - now is the time - 170 ways to seize the moment.

Now, I really need to get started on those diving lessons....

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Home alone

I've been so used to coming home.with j around that last night felt really odd. And eerie, especially after watching that Korean scary drama.

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Today I feel especially loved

'There's pasta in the fridge for you to take to work'

And it immediately made my day a whole lot better.

The days of working past 10pm each day has returned (never really stopped). And I would usually come home with jason watching TV and just relaxing.

I feel guilty all the time, that he does the cooking and housekeeping. I would really like to help, but I'm just too exhausted by the end of the day.
Endure, PC. There's an angel by your side, treasure that and make each day matter.

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Meet Joe Black

After a good hot shower, I turned on the TV and saw HOT brad Pitt kissing 'susan' for the first time. Instantly I wanted to be 'suzan' and I felt my lips being kissed ever so gently by Joe Black.

My eyes were fixed to the TV the entire night (to hell with work). I've got a meeting with Death.

It was 1998 when I watched this film. I was 15 and immediately in love with this movie.

I wanted to feel everything the movie said about love -

'Love is passion,obsession,someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heels,find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well,you forget your head and you listen to your heart and I'm not hearing any heart. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well,you haven't lived a life at all. But You have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived... Stay open, who knows? Lightning could strike."

And I wanted lightning to strike immediately. I wanted someone whom I can fall head over heels in love with.

And with this 'mantra', every of my relationships I gave all of my heart.

What happens after the relationship ends is a different story altogether. They were all good while they lasted.
Like how the movie says -

"It nice it happen to you. Like you come to the island and had a holiday. Sun didn't burn you red-red, just brown. You sleep and no mosquito eat you. But the truth is,it bound to happen if you stay long enough. So take that nice picture you got in your head home with you, but don't be fooled. We lonely here mostly too.If we lucky,maybe, we got some nice pictures to take with us." And I'm lucky to have some very good pictures (the bad ones I erase from my memory).

Another lesson about love I learnt -

Joe Black: I don't care Bill. I love her.

William Parrish: How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That's not love.

Joe Black: Then what is it?

William Parrish: Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment,you feel like indulging - it's missing everything that matters.

Joe Black: Which is what?

William Parrish: Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.

Joe Black: So that's what love is according to William Parrish?

William Parrish: Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever,and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.

Joe Black: Those were my words.

William Parrish: They're mine now.

Its great to watch this all over again and to know what I held so tightly in my heart, I still feel them.

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Beware world

Beware world, of all emilies the strange.

Don't know what your intentions are - pls get lost, you're not welcomed here

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The epic move 2011

Throughout my growing days in singapore, I have only moved once (in 20+ years).

I grew up in this neighborhood in outram, not far from Chinatown. Then my family moved to clementi (when I was 16?) And we stayed there since, though I did spend a fantastic 3 years in NTU dorm with Mich, only going back home during weekends.

For clementi, I wasn't involved in the renovation decisions, nor the cleaning up. All I could remember doing was to pick the lamp shade.

I don't even remember if I moved my clothes. My mum has this rule about throwing away 'useless' items - I.e. excessive clothes, accessories, shoes, cards, mails. Thus, I don't own my old school uniforms any more. My mum keeps all our photo albums though - back in those days when you still need to develop pictures.

The move was completely effortless, from what I remember.

Since 2008, I have moved 5 times - in 3 years; the recent move had to be the most challenging.

Uprooting myself from singapore to hk was not too difficult since I was allowed to have a shipload of belongings to be moved to hk - I couldn't be happier! The unhappy part of it was how to fit all my stuff in the tiny apartments I rented. It didn't help that I had to expand my wardrobe to include winter stuff.

Space is so very precious in hk. It is even more precious and delicate when you stay with someone else.

The 6 month cohabitation with j (sep-mid mar 2011) proved so, and even more so when we moved to stay with his parent's for 2 months.

Now, we have finally moved in to the new flat (thank god!)- the project which we had been working on since last Dec, the epic move.

While we still have furniture and some other household items to shop for, the flat is ready for living in. :)

Every corner I turn, I see j's contribution as well as mine (his industrial kitchen look and my aqua bathroom worked beautifully). While the works could have been done better, this is the closest to perfection we can achieve.

Let's hope we won't have to make another move too soon and get to enjoy the fruits of our labour a little longer....

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The verdict

It's April 15th and we have both made our decisions and reached an agreement.

Where New York is the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do, we have decided to stay put.

To me, it's quite a relief as I'm not ready to move, I've got my MBA to take, and my life plan isn't going to change so soon. Uprooting myself to a completely new place 15hours flight away is exciting, but, to a larger extent, daunting. I can't even say for sure if I'd be able to make it there.

For j, it's a relief as well. He can finally settle his mind and focus on what's ahead, and not the what ifs. He is lucky to be given 2 equally good opportunities to choose from (on paper), but a lot of things can't be weighed just like that.

In fact, he didn't how to decide and as a final resort, he sought some divine intervention - his trusty WTS who gave him 2 stories to interpret for himself. The New York option didn't look so good after.

So we're staying put. :)

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On the right track

We finally had a heart to heart chat last night - in the 'still under construction' flat, amidst all the renovation frenzy. Just the 2 of us, looking at our future, being in our future together.

This 2 weeks will determine what the next 2, 3 years will be - where we will be mainly. Some heavy thoughts to think about, and some heavy decisions to be made, some real planning to do.

We are on the right track - u said (and I was staring at your harry potter Hogwarts express station 9 3/4 tshirt) - bit of a comic relief there but we both know this is serious and it is real.

April 15th - we will have our answers.

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I want my door knobs

Our contractor is killing us.

He fixed cheap door knobs when we specifically went to shop for good quality ones.

Now we have a problem. Because the size of the cheap ones don't match the ones we bought. And that may mean we either replace the doors and delay completion date further OR simply accept the cheap ones.

I know, its just door knobs. But I want my door knobs - the ones we spent days looking for, the ones which use magnetic technology instead of the conventional ones. I want my door knobs, and I don't want to fight with jason over it.

Will we be punishing ourselves or punishing the contractor if we insist on changing? When is this battle ending? :(

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The 7 days when j was gone

J is finally back from New York and that also meant my solo habitation with his parents ends.

While I'm extremely glad that he is back, it's not to say I had a bad time at home. In fact, his mum has been too kind - checking on me to see if I'd be home for dinner, and if not, she'll never forget to leave soup for me.

And what touched me the most was when I told her about my admission to HKUST and my reluctance to take it knowing that j may be posted to new York, she told me to think twice and not to give up this opportunity.

I was surprised she hadn't gone in the other direction and told me to follow Jason, education can wait. So that felt nice.

Outside of home, I had a terrible week at work. In fact most weeks at work are no good, too intense.

Work aside, I had a surprise from nespresso - again! They delivered 400 capsules to my office in 2 cartons! And j didn't order them. I am really puzzled why they keep sending me stuff, but since they come free I can't complain!

I also had a wwonderful weekend - one without having to worry about the renovation at all and I went out to have dinner / drinks / party / high tea with friends I haven't been spending time with. And I got a hair perm. :) by 2 cute stylists.

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Happy birthday - Indian style!

Celebration of the march babies, j and friends picked this Indian restaurant in Tst - Michelin starred and voted best Indian restaurant in hk called gaylord (don't ask me why).

It didnt disappoint. Definitely a place for large party and for sharing the high carbo foods.

The mango lassi is so yummy I had 2 of it.

The atmosphere is really fitting too, with a singing band.

Ken: wow. That song is really long. They sang for 30mins non-stop.

Beatrice: that's because each song tells a story, an epic.

All: oooooh.

Highlight of the day is when the band started singing happy birthday- Indian style!

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Touch a chord

Her slow love songs never fail to tug my heart strings and leave me on the brink of tears.

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Under one roof

I was especially iffy on Sunday, completely irrational and totally irritable.

To the insensitive eye, I'm moody - fullstop.

In actuality, I'm dreading to leave our nest and move in to the parent's nest. And having someone pack your stuff is a disaster - I can never find my things (my acceptance letter from hkust is misplaced, among all things).

My tolerance level is a minimum.

Doesn't help that my boy doesn't pay attention to details. He had packed my only decent looking pyjamus away, and told me to wear my nightie - what?! And he had planned for me to stay in his brother's room, on his brother's bed - completely ignoring how comfortable or uncomfortable I feel about that.

And next week he will be gone to new York (possibly extending his trip to drop by Toronto?!!) - leaving me home alone with his parents.

On the renovation end, the project manager seems to think that everything is on schedule - clearly not supported by the state of progress at the flat.

My goodness.

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The most civil fight

Last night, I witnessed the most civil fight between mother and son. In a most classic fashion, I was sitting between j and his mum, and the TV showing one of Leslie's comedies when the 'fight' broke out.

I saw how frustrated j is with all these renovation stuff, dealing with our project manager and now, with the parent's voices.

On the other hand, I understand his mum's good intentions, by sharing her renovation experience and tips with us, making sure we have all grounds covered. And I do appreciate her constructive and functional input, she didn't have to apologise to me.

We managed the creative input and that was sufficient for me.

When j asked me if I understand his frustrations, I couldn't answer.

I suppose the pressure is on the son who needs to make things right - every time.

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My first exam in years

After a gruelling 4 hours sitting in my cubicle with ear plugs on, I'm done with gmat.

The results aren't exactly what I had aimed for, but I can't complain much given the time I put into preparing for this. I've at least met the minimum requirement for hkust and scored above average. Hopefully with the written section scores, my final score will be better.

The gmat test center and its security is impeccable. They scan your palms and finger print, take your photo, and watch over each and everyone of us.

At any one time, there are only 18 candidates in the room and we are all facing the walls.

My morning passed just like that.

Now, I have to prep myself for other challenges ahead (house renovation most imminent) or maybe I'll continue with the gmat practice - just to keep my brain working.

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