It's friday... i'm in love

went for my first dental today (has been ages since i did)! comment: dentists should not hire grouchy assistants. totally irritates the already scared patient. the experience of visiting the doctor/dentist should be a pleasant one for the patient. hey, we're the ones seeking treatment here! To grouchy nurses: pls find urself a xin li yi shen if u're frustrated. and hopefully, the doc won't scream at you.

finally finished packing up my stuff! (thanks to mr goh who hastened the process) 3 years worth of notes and effort will be going to the paper recycling centre. can't really part with them but i know i must. i must be cold-hearted and not let such stuff/notes come back to huant me (esp when my mum screams at me to throw them away since i am unlikely to go through them again). So there it is.... two big bags of notes. the school should have some online lessons or notes which we can access anytime or some digital bank thingy where we can store our notes and stuff. save the amazon rainforest. :)

had a supper outing with mr goh just now. we haven't been going out to ah fang for supper for a very long time. still remember the first time we went there. we stayed awake chatting through the night and went there for breakfast. the prata there is really not bad.... one of the reasons why i put on weight since i entered uni too. heh heh. those were the days.....

it's friday...i'm in love!

I dreamt a bad dream

it's been a while since i had a bad dream... this morning, i woke up crying convulsively. it MUST have been a damn frightening dream. Good thing mr goh was around to calm me down. can't exactly remember the details. shall try to recall as much as i can now...

think i was in some kinda room, hard at work or something, then got one fierce woman (who strongly reminds me of mrs tian) who kept scolding and scolding me for something i have not done. think that's when i broke down and cried. and it's amazing how closely knit ur dreams and ur physical being is.... like what you do in ur dreams can actually make u act physically like that at the same time. some people i know kick in their sleep (while dreaming about playing soccer), my mum talks in her sleep sometimes, my brother snores a little (when he is damn tired and just got back from camp). I wonder what little action do i have when i am sleeping. saw from tv that people drool in their sleep because they sleep with their mouth open. and during sleep, all ur muscles are supposed to be relaxed. Hence, simple logic= open mouth+relaxed muscles+overflowing saliva=DrooL.

alright, enough about dream and drool.

I spoke with a friend whom i have not spoken to for quite some time. He seems to be doing well, got himself a car and (Gasp!) signed up with NIE to become a teacher. 4 yr bond, 2.5k take home pay and school holidays. well, a number of people around me are taking the same route as him too and the government should be happy that their plan is working. This is what i call the public sector crowding out the private sector. anyway, the reason why i mentioned this friend is because he is one person whom i cannot imagine to become a teacher. multiple ear rings, dyed hair and bochup attitude, someone who can pa game throughout the night. But he was determined to be a teacher because he thought the pay is fantabulously well. not because he likes to teach. then again, i may be placing an early judgement on him. Maybe he will become a good and committed teacher who really enjoys teaching. So, i wish him well. :)

Beautiful Illusions

Fann is soooo pretty! (sorry, but i really haveto gush over her) Although she's like in her 30s, she still looks fantabulous man! all thanks to the products that she endorses. Since her "zai jian yin guang lan to yang guang lie che to jin zhen tou til now...like never age a bit. And qi yiwu is quite a hottie ( I can't believe he is nt Singaporean!) and I.....am being such a TV addict. still enjoying the slacking days before i start work though. :)

packed up my room for a while today. i sure have a lot of stuff in hall man... and as always, i looked through the cards and letters and notes from everyone. It's always nice to re-read such stuff again coz they bring you back to all the different times in your life, how you were dealing with different things, whether you're happy or sad or angry... it's a nice feeling. Most of the time, i guess, people are thinking about the future (esp at our age). so it's nice to be able to spend some time looking back before moving ahead again. who knows when i'll have the free time to look over these stuff again?

i came across some stuff that zy gave me. and read through some of the letters we wrote each other. All i can say is that things are so different now. it's quite a pity that we didn't carry on to become good friends after that. i see friends around me going along fine with their ex and i wonder how that is possible. is it coz i'm not mature enough to handle it? if not, then what went wrong? I guess we ended on a really lousy note. I guess i must have hurt him really badly. but looking back now, would he still feel hurt by me? i guess not. he's moved on and i'm glad. :)

with every (failed) relationship, you learn something new about yourself (and your ex) and what you r really looking for. so that's not such a bad thing, isn't it? acknowledging that sometimes, it's just impossible and tiresome to make things work and u've gotta move on, without looking back.

aching!

i'm suffering the effects of anaerobic respiration! thought exercise will allow a person to sleep better? my body ached the whole night! :(

my arms are falling off!

had my first swim in ...like... 6 months? swam an amazing 8 laps! in an incredible time of 60 minutes! haha... lousy hor...that's like for every lap i swam i rested for 5 min or so....soaking up the sun. but really no stamina la... hardly exercised. (other than clicking the mouse with my right index finger everyday...that helps to cut down some calories u know!)

met brian, zhiyang and harold there too. apparently they're just there to look good. haha. disappointing.... I managed to get out of the pool before it turned into the South China Sea of NTU. think i should go swim earlier in the day where there are not so many people (read: Chinese nationals) I don't have anything against the Chinese in general...but those at the pool today were irritating. Speaking loudly in their local native language (as usual), gathering at one side of the pool and staring at girls in the pool. :l

gotta go tuition now... laters.

It ain't over til the fat lady sings....

what a twist of events... Got an email from SIA this morning informing me of an interview. pleasantly surprised. will be going for it on 7th may....at a scary 0840 hours at far far away changi. hope everything goes well. :) at least now i don't get the "i-want-to-shoot-my-brains-out" feeling. and i need to shape up man! *song going through head* "you better shape up...coz i need a man.... a..hem... i mean, job....." so that's something on my to-do this week.

also sent out some resumes to dbs and citibank and registered with kelly services. Although most of the jobs listed are not entry positions for grad... and require like at least 2 to 5 years of working experience... :( hope opportunity comes knocking soon. and i went to check the MAS career opportunities... freaking 2nd upper class and above need apply! then again, it's a government job, they'd better get geniuses and talents.

let's see...what else is on my to-do list this week....
1) clean up room and pack up hostel room
2) see what can be put up for sale and what can be passed to chongmeng
3) play yahoo pool and win at least 2000 points (yeah, i keep losing points)
4) watch all the channel 5 shows at night! (I missed them last week! Desperate CSI Practice Idol Race Survivor here i come!)
5) Dental
6) shape up!
7) hm...i dunno....is that all i can do this week?

it ain't over til the fat lady sings......

she's so lucky....

had a craving for cakes after giving tuition today...so went to JP coffee bean to take a look at their cakes. the tiramisu looks delicious! so i made purchase for one. but i got two! heh heh. turns out that the server was stunned by my beauty (heh heh) and accidentally dropped the cake agst the box. (I immediately let out a shriek) so, he gave me another one for free!

now i know how to get my money's worth from coffee bean. *winks*

so long..farewell

Well, this is it. The last day of school for me. Today marks the end of 3 years of education at NTU. Scary. Was thinking a lot about the past today. Somehow, when you reach a junction in your life, you tend to stop, look around and wonder what brought you this far.

So, I was thinking about end of exams. I had the privilege of ending my exam agony early while other people are still mugging for theirs. But I didn't enjoy this privilege. felt lost. Felt empty somehow...could it be that I'm immuned to exams that I can't feel anything for it any more? I recalled those times in st nicks where exams were taken in class. We have to arrange the tables and chairs in exam seating arrangements. Sit according to index numbers. And that will be the battlefield for us the next few days. And hey! There were all those "good luck" notes we wrote for everyone else. I'm just too lazy to do that nowadays... (but thank you shiyun for writing!) There was a sense of belonging then I guess. And oh, did I mention the after exam treats we girls give ourselves? Movies! Food glorious food! Still remembered we watched xin dong at J8 and the ring (oh, lovely ring) at lido. Celebration after exams with the sweeties spells F U N.

Then came JC... Spent most of my JC life slacking and zao-ing school. Late for several occasions and caught by the fierce woman…I forgot her name. had to slide/crawl under the gate in my grey uniform (whether late for sch or zao school or both). Could have blended with the road and kenna run over by vehicles. Still, it was fun. Exams were not so fun though. Sitting among fellow NJCians in the hall. Strange thing about me is... I always have a minute or so during the exam to take a good look around me. Observe the looks on people and marvel at the speed which they write. (no wonder i never have enough time to finish) Celebrations after exams included venezia at sixth avenue. Yummy.

But today was different. Can't wait for everyone to finish exams together.

My tuition girl was very stressed over her exams too... spent 2.5 hrs with her today. She told me her dad actually told her that it is okay for her to quit sch now without even finishing her N levels and start work at the factory (which I think the dad owns or something). I was appalled! Instead of encouraging her... He actually told her to give up.

Then I thought about my parents. They never really pressurize me to study very hard and get top grades. They just let me be. Although my mum did tell me once that if I cannot cope, she wouldn't mind if I quit school. I think I scolded her "siao". Heh.

I'm glad I made it.

Hello, corporate world.

Lessons from economics

Lessons from economists:

As Tullock puts it, "The people who are successful in moving up the hierarchy are those who are most likely to choose career motivated action rather than action motivated by other things. "

Johnson:" Economics is essentially a social science, concerned to further understanding of society by the application of scientific methods of analysis and research to the economic aspects of society's activities."

Sigh, studying policies can be so interesting.... but why do I have to wait til today to start studying it...

Nevertheless, I hope i can be a good economist. :)

I hate Public finance....

Had my public finance paper today. Thought i was rather prepared for the paper... other than the fact that i skipped most of the lectures and tutorials for the second half of the course... BUT... the paper was not what i expected. Different from past yr papers which i did religiously try to do. PLUS, i was suffering from a tummy ache. I wonder what is it this sem...for each exam i had so far.. my tummy never treated me well. All my years of going for exams... this has to happen to my final semester of examinations. PLUS, there was a girl who came late (who distracted me since i was sitting in front) AND she left in the middle of the exam coz she wasn't feeling well and the invigilators created a commotion (which again distracted me) and even spoke about what they are going to do with her, how one of the teacher brought her to the medical centre...blah blah blah (WHICH i irritably shush them up). I mean, they are invigilators for goodness sake! fancy them making so much commotion when other students are still taking the paper.

So all in all, it was a very distracting and hm... painful paper to sit through. Think i screwed up the second part of the paper totally. Oh well, dun think i'll fail. just won't do well. Sheesh.

In lib leeweenam again, i can almost feel the brainwaves from all the people studying here. NTU students are really hardworking... i wonder where that places me... too slack too slack...Oh, learnt a new game today. Yahoo! Pool! ok...very sua ku i know... it turns out to be a really fun game. played with Mr. Goh (who happens to have a paper tmr). Think he gets his motivation to study by beating me time and again at the game. And when i can finally make the chance to win, my white ball goes in as well. damn.

Found out from mish that a friend already got a notification informing her abt her successful application to a 1st round interview for SIA. Can't help but feel like shooting myself in the brain. ( I felt like that many times today) coz i had the intention to apply but couldn't do so coz the SIA mailbox was full and i couldn't get my application in before the deadline. Oh well, things probably happen for a reason. Sometimes, we rush into things too fast. Impulse. We buy things on impulse, eat on impluse, indulge ourselves impulsively. Feel strongly for something, also on impulse. Probably why i wanted to apply was also on impulse too. Just didn't want to miss the chance and regret not doing it...

like why pp buy toto...coz they dun want to shoot themselves in the brain when their number comes out one day....

Happy birthday Eileen!

First of all, would like to wish dear sweetie eileen happy 22nd birthday. ;) can't celebrate with her on the actual day since most of us are undergoing a very stressful period of our lives(right now) known as the E.X.A.Ms. but hey, our thoughts are with you! so really hope that u'll spend this great day with your loved ones (other than us) and thoroughly enjoy urself man. You deserve it! Hugs.

birthdays are such wonderful days. As a young kid, i always love birthdays, be it mine or my friends. Coz i remember during kindergarten, whenever someone has a birthday, it will be declared a free day for the class. Back then, the class was small, the teachers were damn nice, we children just waste the day playing with toys, colouring, fighting with the boys and eating. And there will be a Birthday celebration! the highlight of the day.

I remember when it comes to my birthday, my mum would buy a birthday cake and come to class and all my classmates will gather around the table and sing my happy birthday song. I think in my second year in kindergarten, this boy across the table was picking his nose (obviously not singing birthday song to me), another boy wanted to reach the cake and eat the sugary decorative figures, another boy was looking damn intently at the cake and i suspect he was drooling. Well, the rest(girls) were singing happily. AND this guy sitting beside me blew my candles for me when the song ended and i was so upset that i cried. My brother would be ard too... sweeet.

Then comes primary sch...hated to celebrate birthdays. Classmates would play all sorts of nasty tricks on me. They were such naughty boys then. Family still celebrated birthdays together.

come secondary sch...mixture of love and hate for birthdays. family hardly celebrates anymore. though sch friends were always eager to. eager to smash your face into the cake as well. (what a waste) :) and i think for most of my birthdays, i was really happy. But the days following that were unhappy ones.. and i was beginning to think of it as the birthday curse. that u'll only feel wonderful on your birthday and that's it.

Now, birthdays are special occasions to celebrate. celebrate life. celebrate kinship, friendship. celebrate with people who cares. celebrate with people you love and who loves you.

It's such a special day.

So let's celebrate!

Happy birthday eileen!

Perception

Perception (definition): Insight, intuition, or knowledge gained by perceiving.

Some things are not so bad when you look at it with a different perspective. I'm talking about me whining about the damage done to my mini ipod. At least i didn't spoil the whole device. at least the lcd screen is still intact. at least the music still plays fine. at least i've learnt another lesson. :) I've learnt that shit happens. and i've learnt that engineers are very practical people.
I am emotional.

and I'm not going to drop the mini again. :(

I want to kill myself!

I want to kill myself. I dropped the ipod mini in less than 48 hours. I want to kill myself. Now there is a small dent at the corner. I want to kill myself. I know i will drop it sooner or later. I want to kill myself. I know i will drop it and I shld have known better, being the klutz that i am. I want to kill myself!!!

my heart is in shreds.

Why don't you doO something?

watching britney's "why don't u doO somethin'" mtv in spurts is really getting on my nerves. All coz ntu has firewall.

Sigh, yet another unproductive day. Why don't I doO somethin. Think i can't study when the room is too cosy. Nice warm lighting, cosy sofa, laptop, hot milo, chill night, emi fujita music. spells PERFECT for a night. Just had a nice supper time with mr goh. He suggested that we take more photos of the cosy room. something to remember our hall days by. :)

Now, perhaps i should go and doO somethin. time for bed.

Watashi...Anata...Idunno

Had my first exam for my final sem.... nihongo no exam desu. Also the 1st exam in so many sems that i actually got nervous before the paper. *actually went to the loo with an upset stomach* Now i truly understood the meaning of butterflies in the stomach. I've got 2 more papers to go til it's all officially finished and done with. Made some silly mistakes in the exam but i guess it's alright... should be better than my disastrous jap oral test with the se mi mi teacher and his fake japanese accent.

Anyway, back to the final exams. Have taken numerous exams throughout my life... as a typical sg kid. Most of the times, I'm not exactly nervous coz I always believe that whatever i have learnt will somehow miraculously come to me when i sit for the paper. Moreover, it is just the exams. I'm not trying to sound obnoxious here. but i just feel that after so many exams, does what we learn from the books really apply to the world beyond that of the school compound? It's true that we need to have good grades and a nice, fully certified piece of paper. But what's out there waiting for us? It's a scary thought and i try not to think about it.

Finally got my green apple mini! and the engraving was elegantly done! *took abt 3 min to find where it was though...* Now i need to find a nice cover for my new toy. Anyone knows where to get?

Jerk it Out

Wind me up
put me down
start me off and watch me go
I'll be running circles around you sooner than you know
A little off center
and i'm out of tune
just kickin this can along the avenue
But i'm alright

(Chorus)
coz it's easy once you know how it's done
you can't stop now
it's already begun
you feel it
running through your bones
and you jerk it out
jerk it out

shut up
hush your mouth
can't you hear you talk too loud?
No I can't hear nothing 'cause I got my head up in the clouds
I bite off anything that I can chew
I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue
But that's ok

(Chorus)

This song "Jerk it Out" by The Caesars really gets into your bones but it's hard to jerk it out. No wonder Apple is doing so well with its mp3 players. Kudos to Apple's marketing department! and I am still waiting for my green apple mini (which i just found out will have my name engraved on it...*thank you brudda*).

The real reason why i want to mention this song is how it made Mr. Goh dance around in the room at 2am last night. Hilarious. Yet another something which i will never forget.

Lovely Loverly Weekend

First of all, would like to thank my sweeties for the lovely presents! They go well with each other i realise...all blue based one.... :) Had a lovely time at fullerton one's bakers inn although i was bitten 5 times by the mosquitoes there, all on the same leg. :( delicious dinner too... yum yum. we ordered some seafood pasta on banana leaf and actually counted how many clams, mussels, sotongs, crayfish and prawns there were! and the prawns! very Q! very fresh! very satisfying....

and over the weekend, i finally went home after two weeks. yay! the upgrading was finally completed at my house and the house looks really nice! All thanks to my mum of course...who insisted to do the cleaning up herself and effectively locked us out of the house since the mu men and tie men were both changed and my brother and I don't have the new keys.

Oh well, will be moving back in less than one month's time. My 3 yr hall life will be officially ended soon. Definitely will miss all the times i've spent here. I wouldn't say i have a very exciting and fulfilling hall life but at least i've tried a bit of most of the things here. Been through a whole lot of experiences and emotions. and taken damn a lot of photos. Think the best thing that happened to me after being posted to hall one would be knowing Mr. Goh.

Big grin.

Lesson of the Day

Everything is a double edged sword.