First working day of 2009

Officially, today is my first working day of 2009.

Everyone was still basking in the holiday fun (hangover) last Friday

while I nursed my runny nose and sore throat.

The weekend had been an alcohol rehabilitation of sorts

and also paid off some of my sleep debts.

I was so tired,

I couldn't even make myself go for a quick dinner

with fion and co,

so I merely lugged my big bag of new winter clothing home

and hit the sack before midnight.

Had a quick chat with Guy -

it's been sometime since we touched base.

He highly recommended The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

and said I would love the movie;

I'll catch that when it starts showing in HK,

or Singapore when I make it back later this month.

He thinks I'm too driven, so a little mellowness would help me -

take slower steps, have some quiet time alone

and figure out where I'm standing.

Sound advice -

which I took.

I went for facial

and got myself running at the gym again.

Travelled a little further,

over to the Kowloon side

and Jason and I had our hands on Mario racing game at the dingy arcade.

Sunday was spent alone;

except I took some time in the morning to visit the doc again

and took a little more time to buy stuff at Sogo

and a lot more time just going through past facebook photos and old emails.

I spend a lot of time going through the past...

I wonder if that's even a good use of my time.

I thought about my new year resolutions

and then I thought about how i'm going to keep to them.

tough.

but I'll still try.

And i did make it.

Early wake up in the morn, got to work at 8am.

Good breakfast and start to a new day.

Busy day at work - productive, but not quite effective

Went to the gym and sweat it out.

And I blogged

and I read.

And I'm going for salsa tomorrow night.

Finally!

After much talk of wanting to learn it properly...

2009 is going to be fantastic.

I just have to keep the fun going.

:)

photographic memories

I have a total of 146 photo albums on facebook in a time frame of 1.5yrs... and that is not even counting the ones I posted from friend's albums.

That makes 8 albums in a month, 2 albums a week!

it's amazing how time and memories are captured, isn't it?

Happy New 2009

A happy new year, a happy new you.

It is a ritual for most people, including myself, towards the end of every year, to reflect and think upon events in 2008, but I've been too sick and busy to do that.

I had let myself get sucked into the holiday partying despite not being in the best of health.

Time for celebrations - for a fantastic 2008 passed, and a fabulous 2009 ahead.



Sometimes, I get too neurotic for my own good.
Just like tonight.
Perhaps the cold is really getting to me.

I need to curl up in bed.

the final week of 2008

I cannot believe I am spending the last week of 2008

nursing my severe sore throat,

incessant coughing and dripping nose.

I have done pretty much nothing,

except take my pills,

get in and out of sleep and watch time tick by.

Totally not doing anything constructive.

I spent 2 hours screaming in pain on bed this afternoon.

the worst cramps ever.

I had wanted to just roll out of bed,

knock my head and pass out,

so I won't feel the pain anymore.

Maybe I'm getting punished for all the indulgence over the xmas period.

period.

突然好想你

五月天's new album is making me cry a lot and I cannot explain why.

Whenever the slow songs play, I'd take a 5 min break and listen to it, just listening to it.

Such songs tug the heart strings at the deepest corners of my heart and I start to sniff.

突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

A dream, or a plan?

Yun sent me this link: http://www.colinandyenyen.com/wordpress/paved-with-good-intentions/
which I spent a good one hour plus reading, and digesting
(amidst checking facebook and catching up on world news)

and if you don't have that much time to read,

here's something I picked out from colin and yenyen.

"Consider these 2 stories. Which is closer to yours?

You wake up everyday and work from Monday to Friday, and often, Saturday too. If you finish work early, you and your partner go to your parents’ place for dinner and see your child for a few hours.

If you work late, you buy a packet of char kway teow from the hawker centre but eat it at home because it’s too warm to eat there. You’re not crazy about the job but you know that if you keep at it, you can afford a car in 3 years’ time, and in 5 years’ time, buy a condo close to the primary school you want to send your kid to. Your conversations with people are either for the purpose of networking, work, or for familial obligations you cannot avoid.

On weekends, you play golf with your friends at your country club or watch a movie with your partner. Once a year, you go on a ten day vacation to New York, London, or Paris, and when your children are big enough, Disneyland.

Alternatively, you wake up and you have no idea what is going to happen today, tomorrow, 6 months or a year later. Ironically, because of this uncertainty, all possibilities exist for you.

You can be the Prime Minister of Singapore, you can make a movie, you can cook a meal you have never cooked before, eat at a place you have never eaten before, you can color your hair red, you can skip instead of walk, you can volunteer at the school you have always wanted to volunteer at, you can write a book, or you can have a baby even though you don’t have a maid.

You have conversations with people who set your heart palpitating and your mind on fire. Your weekday is not so different from your weekend because everyday you are thinking, creating, and more important, imagining.

Most of us recognize the first story and its pursuit of the 5 Cs of “cash, condo, car, country club, credit card.”

It is the Plan, which imposes a conclusion on you, and you work in order to make all the pieces fit. A bus stop advertisement I saw recently said it best: “We spend all our youth chasing money, and when we attain it, we spend all our money chasing youth.”

A Dream, on the other hand, carries you on its wings to worlds that your heart and mind have never known."

Yun commented I had gotten out of the Singapore mould and am starting to live my dream.

Perhaps, to a certain extent.

I would have been perfectly satisfied going forward with the Singapore Plan.

Those were the stuff me and mr goh used to discuss.

It is an enviable plan if all pieces of the jigsaw fit.

But I had been greedy and I wanted more.

I didn't want to be kept in.
so I made the choice to move to Hong Kong. I want to see what other places have to offer me,
and how much further I can push myself

My new job allowed me to do more thinking,

we try to be creative and innovative.

I wake up every morning, knowing the stuff I have to get done,

and not knowing the other ad hoc stuff which needs to get done.

There is a wee bit of uncertainty and element of surprise.

I have conversations with people who make me think, and laugh,

and set my heart racing.

Perhaps I'm now transiting between the first scenario to the second.

I still think about the first scenario sometimes... it's such a comfort zone.

I also start to wonder
if I'm just making myself to believe that I'm pursuing my dreams;

when in fact, I'm still following the blueprint,
just in a different city, with different characters.

There is only so much people can plan,
but a lot more which we can dream about.

It's not easy to live your dream;
but we all try, at least.

sniff sniff

Winter is here again. It's funny how you'd wake up one morning and find that the weather's changed completely.

I like winter, other than the fact that it always makes me sick - sniff sniff.

Last year, i told mich that i'd want to remember this feeling for a long time - of the cool breeze on my face under the sun; of snuggling comfy in bed a little longer in the mornings; of not having to worry about bad hair days ... while thinking i'm ending my hk hiatus.

I had never thought things would take such a turn and i'm back here again.

the past two weeks have been busy, as usual.

I was a butterfly one night; and a pirate the next.

j's trailwalker 100km hike lasted 30 hours.

my helim balloon lost much of its helium after the long wait, and after all the whacking in the wind. I still cannot imagine why anyone is so passionate and enthusiastic about doing a 100km hike, or go for foot massages....

I prefer to go cycling (actually, more so rollerblading -

but I think the roads in HK is far too bumpy).

A good get away from work - which never seems to be ending, nor stops to pile.

our little weekend get away at ho chi minh city really took my mind off work.

My fav part of the trip has got to be crawling through the cu chi tunnel, and riding in the city, and of cos the food! I wish I know some basic Vietnamese though, it's always nice to chat up the locals. :)

my sneezing frenzy has just started again. better head to bed.

why am I always not in the best of health when you come visit, mich??

in love, in memory

Read this from somewhere and
thought it's really well written -

so i'm sharing it with you. :)

Life is an act of resistance

and of re-existence;

we live,

re-live.

But everything is held in our memory.

We are what we remember,

our memory is our nomadic home.

As the plants or the emigrant birds,

the memories have the strategy of the light.

They go forward,

like the rower who moves from behind to see better.

There is a pain similar to a toothache,

to the physical loss,

and it is to lose a memory that we love.

Those essential photos in the album of our life.

That’s why,

there is a kind of melancholy that does not catch,

but nourishes freedom.

In that melancholy

as foam on the waves,

our dreams arises.

你不是真正的快乐

你不是真正的快乐



真的?

人群中 哭著

你只想變成透明的顏色

你再也不會夢

或痛

或心動了

你已經決定了

你已經決定了

你靜靜 忍著

緊緊把昨天在拳心握著

而回憶越是甜

就是越傷人了

越是在 手心留下

密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割

你不是真正的快樂

你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了

也決定不愛了

把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這世界 笑了

於是妳合群的一起笑了

當生存是規則

不是 你的選擇

於是妳 含著眼淚 飄飄盪盪 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快樂

你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了

也決定不愛了

把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂

你的傷從不肯完全的癒合

我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河

難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了

然後才後悔著

你值得真正的快樂

你應該脫下你穿的保護色

為什麼失去了

還要被懲罰呢

能不能就讓 悲傷全部

結束在此刻

重新開始活著

I am finally getting my life back.

:)

Halloween friday was a blast!

The Bledisloe cup was a blast!

Second round of halloween partying on sat night was a blast!

Getting 7 hours of sleep over 2 nights is crazy,

but I'm lovin' it!

Retail therapy

Retail therapy

works.

I have never splurged so much on myself one weekend
when I'm back in Singapore.

A bunch of winter clothes, skin care, a new watch, hairdo, accessories.

Staying in causeway bay has much to contribute.

On top of that, I try to justify my irrational spending
by how hard I work during the week.

And according to Kain, our HK salary has just grown in value by 10%.

Great way to spend those HK dollars ... on sing dollars stuff... which I did:



These are just too pretty to resist! from www.ochacream.com

Although zhijin said I can probably find similar stuff at mongkok... at much cheaper price....

oh well. I need some pampering.

I find that I'm pampering myself a lot more here in HK.

Am I really that unhappy here?

hurting

Love is like my retainers - a life time, if not long term, commitment.

I am supposed to wear it all the time, but I don't.

I don't wear it when I have to eat and I need the space and I need to make sure I don't crack it.

I keep it snugly in my bag, and I'll wear it every now and then.

If I lose it, my teeth will go out of alignment.

So how can this love continue when you're not here with me?

I hope you understand that I tried - I really did.

I just got reminded of the pain again.

why?

the joy of giving

Yesterday, zhijin told me she received a bouquet of flowers

and it made her day.

That's when I start to think how happy I was when I received flowers

out of the blue, for no particular reason.

I get caught up with work these days that I've stopped doing those extra little something for people, the ones I care about.

I recalled those days in sec school when we'd pass the 'chocolates' - Person A writes a note to Person B, along with a bar of choc, and B will do so for C and C for D and it goes on until A receives something.

Full circle.

So I did something today

to let you know I care about you(s).

The giver of joy receives double the joy.

-for jason-
The giver of surprises feels fantastic.

-for michelle-

snapping out of it

I walked out of my office feeling the strangest of feelings this evening

It was as if the entire day had been a dream

my vision blurred as I stepped out of the elevator

strangers whizz past me

I am nobody to them

as they don't matter to me

this is not home

and I want to snap out of it.

Getting active

Yesterday was Chung Yeung Festival - a public holiday in Hong Kong.

Being the pig that I am, it's time to get my big fat ass moving again. So I happily agreed to Kain's invitation to join him and his friends for a game of badminton at Kowloon sports complex early in the morning. It's been some time since I crossed the harbour and made it to the other side. I had forgotten how long it'd take and ended up being '18 minutes' late (yes, kain counted).

The morning air was chilly - perhaps a sign that autumn is soon to be over. We had macs for breakfast and the guys wouldn't stop making fun of me - how I had asked for 'Fan Kaey' (tomato) instead of 'Kaey zup' (ketchup/tomato sauce). Nb. Kain said he would only have Macs in the morning cos the oil they use is the freshest. Man... who thinks of such things???

We had a couple of matches - won some, lost some. I need to perfect my serve and not keep serving 'char siew' for the other team to 'eat'. :P

Two hours and a blink of an eye later, we packed up and left for more food!

Australia Diary Co. - supposedly serves the BEST scrambled eggs and toast. With the egg mcmuffin in the morning, i had a total of 3 eggs in a day. tsk tsk. So much for trying to be healthy.

Dinner was at Tsim Sa Tsui, indian food. Thank you for suggesting that - i know you saw my whining about missing prata. Although they didn't really have prata... it was good. The curry lamb and the chick peas were delicious. The elevator to the restaurant was kinda scary though - very old school.

And it was nice to meet up with your old time friend Steph -

it meant as much to me as it did to you. :)

In bed, I had difficulty sleeping.

I tried my best to nurse an aching body while my mind was still actively running with thoughts.

And it didn't help that I was walking like a crab / pregnant woman and saying 'ouch' under my breath with every step i take throughout the entire day today.

The first flames of October

The first week of October started with a blast - literally.

We were just out of the Hong Kong Arts Centre (HKAC) after watching the Spanish film El Bola. Was on our way to look for dinner food, when we heard loud blasts, and echoes of them. I had thought it was going to rain until I saw the reflections of the fireworks on the buildings and a mad rush of crowd charging in one direction.

We managed to catch it - a good 20 minutes of fireworks, with children around us going Wah Wah WAH each time the blasts went off. I love the red and gold and blue ones the most. The green ones somehow remind me of alien invasion - i don't know why.

You held me in your arms and we just watched the fireworks go off. Watching fireworks together is probably on the list of 'Top romantic things to do' for a lot of people. But somehow, that was not the first thing on my mind.

I thought of the previous fireworks I had watched with my significant others at different points in my life and I start to think that yes, everything beautiful will end - just a matter of when.

If you're lucky, you get the next burst of flames, an ongoing parade of fireworks one after another. If you're not so lucky, you just have to wait for the next parade, some time later. Time .. is relative.

I really shouldn't have thought so much and enjoyed the moment with you, and kiss you and let you know i'm happy to be with you right there and then.

Nonetheless, thanks for making such a lovely evening.

The spanish film was thought-provoking and rather unsettling. It speaks of domestic violence, repressed childhood, inner conflicts and a ray of hope. I was particularly appalled at how kids can taunt one another to play silly games like grabbing a bottle placed right in the middle of a track just seconds before the train whizzes past, with the two players on either side of the track. Winner is the one who picks up the bottle first. Or more accurately, the one who doesn't have his brains flattened by the oncoming train.

It was a very good film, very real. Go watch it if you have the chance.

Dinner was good too - we sat on swings and had too much salad, anti pasti, and pizza. You shared with me stories of your fraternity and we spoke about how our parents fell in love. The night could have gone on with endless conversation if not for the fact that it's a working day the next day and you have to start earning your 'brownie points'. ;)

Rainy days like this

make me miss home much.

Pierced

I did the most amazing thing on myself this morning -

All dressed up and good to go to work,

I realised i forgot to wear the ear ring on my helix.

So, I poked around for 5-10 minutes,

trying to get the ear ring in

until I got fed up.

The piercing has miraculously decided to heal overnight.

So I gave it one hard jab to get it through

Next thing i saw

BLOOD.

Ok, breathe.

Got it through the front,

now gotta stab it right across to the back.

Poked around a bit more

a little bit harder

and the next second later

my vision blurred

I felt nauseous

and wanted to puke

checked my watch

damn. 9.05am

I'm late for work.

Then I collapsed,

and hugged the toilet bowl
and tried to throw up.

I broke into cold sweat,

trembling.

And I passed out,

for a good 15 min.

9.20am

Had to call in sick.

Please don't ever try this at home, alone.

Hurt like hell, and I thought i was going to die.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world.

The unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.

Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw-

I've been reading this book - Hongkongitis- which speaks of the stuff which makes people love and hate Hong Kong so much at the same time. It's a funny read so far, until this chapter that I read tonight.

It spoke about changes and non-conformity, and how Hong Kong is stifled culturally, that the people have no generation gap at all to speak of. Cantopop is popular across generations, with the same formulaic pop star idols. Fashion/arts wise, it's ripped off Japan / Korea. The old aren't afraid to follow what's trendy for the young. 'Hong Kong has no generation gap.' By and large, this is a generalisation.

I start to think about how true this chapter is. Does not having a generation gap means you're not progressing as a society? Is it an Asian thing to conform? Are we taught not to rebel against exisiting social norms? I guess to a certain extent, we tend to slip into our comfort zones. If something works well, why would you want to 'rock the boat'?

Maybe when the journey gets too smooth sailing, you'd rock it just for the heck of it.

Typhoon Hagupit

So the Hagupit is here.

I'm so bored at home

I spent my boredom online shopping

and hell, did i spend

on frivolous stuff.

But

I

LOVE

these!!

feather, polka dotted and orange monarch butterflies.

Lovely. :)

Kissing a fool

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
You'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them steal your heart from you

People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Question

Question:

How considerate should one be in a relationship?

or in a relationship that no longer exists?

mid week wed

It's mid week. i'm halfway there.

it's a wonder how the simplest things can make people happy.

i'm happy today because of my new pink tumbler.

i'm happy today because it's one day closer to the weekend. :)

and i had a good laugh at a frog's joke today.

Post mid Autumn blues

I had mean to get to the office and clear some work this morning. really.

it's 2.30pm and I'm still at home.

the INERTIA is simply too great - even though office is less than 10 min away.

I was up til 3am tidying up my place.

Finally got my hangers (100 of them, and still not enough!) and put up the clothes.

Neighbour says my place looked like a pig's sty, worse than his bunk in army. :(

TTT: Things take time.

I'll make sure i do a little something to spruce up the place every weekend.

Weekends in HK is always incredibly packed. We should have 4 working days in HK.

Fri night used to party; sat to recuperate; sunday to go out shopping/eating; monday to stay home and prepare for another intense work week.

Why is the pace in HK so fast?

'farewell' dinner for Ernest - before he flies off to SF and NY.

Ggoh in HK: bunking with me on Wed/Thurs night; totally sleep deprived and malfunctioning at work on friday. :) But it's all good.

Mid autumn BBQ with fion's family.

I think being around children makes me happy. These kids can just jump around and laugh a lot. Kids still want to play with lanterns and candles. :)

The big kids put up the lanterns, and helped the little ones light theirs.

The chat session with fion's mum & aunts turned out to be a male bashing one.

Marriage, husbands and kids - how do you manage the relationships and your own expectations? It's depressing to hear 5 women telling the same story of how romance will give way to security. I don't want to buy that. I want my heart to flutter, and my smile to make someone's day.

So there goes the mid autumn fest- it's almost like a second CNY. The only things that were missing that night?

Mooncakes and starfruits, and you.

There's a private sale of several beauty product brands for our office on Friday, on a first come first serve basis.

So, my colleague sent in her order - 1 xxx brightening cream.

And the reply was: 'Sorry, out of order'

I didn't find anything odd with that reply until now.

I guess i've slowly become assimilated into the HK english speaking culture.

my world is a battlefield

Every morning, I wake up, preparing to fight another battle.

I strut to the battlefield and find myself armed with literary ammunition.

Time is always against me and it doesn't help that you're in a foreign land.

I'm slowly being buried beneath piles of print outs.

There are times when I feel like throwing in the towel but something keeps me going

at the end of the day.

A friendly call, a few chuckles, the love you bring.

And I wake up to a better morning.

my moment of weakness

I thought I made up my mind
I don't like playing games
but sometimes the uncertainties
are more than I could name

You made two steps forward,
and I took three steps back
Love is our own tango
the rhythm shouldn't be wrecked

In my moment of weakness
I allowed you to take the lead
not knowing when you're spinning me
not knowing what I need

But still I'd love to tango
with different partners, different beat
Only secretly waiting for someone special
to sweep me off my feet

Such is my moment of weakness
such a dreamer, some call a fool
'the music's gonna stop one day
and, silly, you may not realise it's through'

oh, love is such a tease

Miserably sick

I can't remember when's the last time I felt so

ill and miserable.

I have always been familiar with the drill -

not enough sleep > fall sick > pop pills > sleep > get better.

Since sunday evening I know I'm coming down with a cold.

Been shuttling btn my new apt and CWB to get stuff/ideas for my new apt and also settled my mobile line and broadband. My mind REALLY didn't want to work on sunday. Most of the time, i'm spaced out. So glad mr neighbour and mr j offered their brains. The many measurements and fixtures drove me nuts.

Panadol cold & flu extra has ceased to be effective for me. Monday was spent rubbing my nose, and working under pressure. I didn't even know how i managed to survive the day. Was almost knocked down by the tram - that's how dizzy and faint I was.

Continued to drag my body to work on Tues but the world was just twirling around me. It helps that there are friends who care. :) Added warmth to a freezing body. Felt so miserable that I really wanted to cry. Thanks kain for accompanying me to the hospital. Your lecture about 五脏六腑 and 胃筋 made me laugh a lot.

And on wed I called in sick. I have never slept so much continuously. I was bedridden and my body ached so badly. And all I can remember is... falling into a deep abyss - not wanting to wake up.

I don't want to be so sick ever again. : (

Typhoon Nuri

Besides the Olympics and food, I think typhoons in HK excite every single person around you in Hong Kong. In the office, some religiously tune in to radio stations every 15 min; others surf the Observatory website for updates; or rely on email fwds. On the streets, people's footsteps are hurried, most are armed with a brolly. You hear people speaking of numbers 1, 3, 8 and even 9 and 10 (typhoon signals).

I must say the HK meteorologists are pretty accurate - before 8am they announced Typhoon signal 8 - meaning all schools, offices will be closed. People stock up on food, and stay home. I was already all dressed and ready for work and Typhoon Nuri is well on her way to HK (why do typhoons have female names?)

What the heck. I want to feel the wind. :)

And indeed I felt it. The scaffolding across the street shook slightly. Plastic bags and rubbish twirled like mini tornadoes and my hair was all over the place. Interestingly, the ladies were all in pants and there were hardly any cars on the streets (since insurance does not cover moving vehicles during typhoons).

Armed with my pink Giordano brolly bought last night, I made my way to the office. :D

Oh, last night too, I thought I had lost my super girly blue umbrella at TsuiWah after dinner. Only realised it when having GuiLingGao with kain, which must have been an hour or so later. My first thought was, it couldn't be there any more, someone must have taken my pretty umbrella. His thought was, no harm going back to take a look. And I'm SO happy we did.

失而复得的快乐 is velly wonderful.

Lost in HK

Lost in HK

I missed my bus stop on my way home

and before I knew it,

I was heading to the unfamiliar.

It was a good view of the Kowloon skyline, with the coast right next to the highway.

I thought of the highway in singapore with view of the esplanade, city skyline and I miss it more.

Nights like these make you miss home.

A place I call my own

=A place I call my own=

I finally decided on my apartment!

After viewing 6 units I decided that this one is it.

Being HK, you pay monkeys for peanuts

but I really like this unit.

White washed walls,

newly done up decor,

clean big bathroom (by HK standards),

BIG bed (to accomodate my visitors from Singapore!),

clean stylish kitchen...

and I wake up to a view of some colourful residential buildings and mountains.

It's really a lovely cosy unit.

I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to do it up.

Only bad is, I have no place to put my wardrobe.

But other goods - my neighbour is a Singaporean guy - who turned out to be my friend's friend,

and since we both stay on the top level, we have access to the rooftop!

I can't wait to move in!

我不.難過

我不.難過



I haven't heard this song in a while.

Last night, someone picked this song while at ktv

and it opened the floodgate of emotions and memories once more.

I remember the series of events that night

ever so vividly.

It was raining on our way home - the rain slapped the car windows without mercy.

We parked at the usual spot where he'd drop me off.

I was trembling, maybe he was too.

I don't know if there's any other way I could have said it better.

I know I've hurt him so badly, no matter how many times I said sorry

how tightly we've hugged.

I know I've broken a good man's heart - someone who loved me so very much

I miss him.

As much as I reason my thoughts, feelings some times overwhelm me.

我不难过
这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流
我也不懂

Survived my first week at work

Been in and out of meetings this week and

it's great meeting new people and sitting in teleconferencing sessions

Everything is so systematic here.

It's pretty easy to follow,

but I just need to get the workflow sorted out in my head.

The HR is organising a Wii Olympics competition which I think my team will most likely take part in

My singaporean colq has been extremely kind and helpful and it definitely feels better to have her around

My Hk colqs appear shy at the beginning but they're slowly warming up :)
Had lunch with one of them today and it was good

I wonder if age is catching up with me

I feel the passion in my team members towards research work and I always feel excited to meet a like-minded individual loves her job as much (or more) than I do.

And how small the world is - a sec sch classmate actually works two cubicles away from me and I only realised that on Thursday! She's been walking up and down and we didn't realise until we were introduced to each other - and then we screamed (in the office) - haha.. very typical of st nicks girls. :) It's good.

That is what's amazing about living - with some people, you tread on parallel lines. With others, the paths are crossed. Or perhaps, it's just a matter of time before all paths criss cross. Such is 'Yuan'.

Also found out today that someone intended to say goodbye. A goodbye I may have never known if not heard from another source. The news brought back a flood of memories.

All things take time.

First day at work!

First day at work

I need to brush up my cantonese.

Our HR is damn nice and they even sent an email round to remind us to have plenty of fruits and there are bananas, apples and golden kiwi in the pantry!

Still feel a bit out of place with everyone yakking away in cantonese in the office.

I've taken the step, now I need to do the climb.

Number counting

Clothing items to be shipped:

88 blouses

50 dresses

30 shoes

30 belts

19 pants

14 skirts

14 coats/jackets

13 sports wear

9 sweaters

9 scarves

5 caps

2 nightwear

A hell lot of toiletries and

1 Heavy heart

- - - - - - - - - -

The movers came by this morning to get my stuff. I'm finally done with packing (!)and filling up the inventory list for insurance purposes. Whatever I took 2 weeks to pack, these guys took 20 minutes.

I'm amazed at the number of clothing I have. Seriously I probably only wear 20% of what's in my wardrobe. Had to give two suitcases of clothes to yun for resale, and filled up another few bags of clothes to pass to her again.

Reality check - A conservative estimate of the value of all the items amount to 20k. Time to curb my shopping desires.

4 more days to go.

You're right - there're bound to be things which will be still left undone.

Gum scaling

The most excruciating pain - gum scaling.

A harrowing 5 min experience -

You see the tools used

sharp as needle

slicing your gums.

Your mouth becomes bloody in an instant.

You clench your fist,

and pray it be over soon.

Why do we put ourselves through such torture?

Brush and floss and rinse daily.

My girly times

Mambo jambo

According to wikipedia:

Mambo Jambo,

commonly known as Mambo nights,

is a theme clubbing night held every Wednesday at Zouk in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. It is highly popular among the younger segment of the clubbing crowd in Singapore, and a Mambo experience is often regarded as an initiation ritual for many beginners into the local clubbing scene.

And I'm singing....

Oooh baby..do you know what that's worth...Oooh Heaven is a place on earth.... and i was dying inside to hold you... I couldn't believe what I felt for you... In the summer rain...Doesn't matter what I do now.. doesn't matter what I say... cos I'm guilty ... guilty as a girl can be... only you can set me free... I stand accccuuuuuused of love in the first degree.

Lazy Tuesday

Had lunch with this lady I've known for 5 years or so.

I feel her disappointment and I really appreciate her understanding and kindness. I guess she's not the only one who feels surprised and puzzled at the outcome.

Sometimes we have to learn to make our own choices - and accepting whatever good or bad outcomes. Life is an experience, isn't it? Live it without regrets, or... learn to deal with your regrets - a good cry helps.

No one knows for certain what's going to happen - there is no blueprint. Life is fluid like that.



I had my last gym session today with fav instructor and I still hadn't the courage to walk up and say hi. This may ... just be one of my tiny regrets.

1nitestand

I love comedy night!

A pity I always forget the jokes told and I'm always bad at (re)telling jokes!

I was really impressed with the host - his mind twists faster than a tornado.

The other two acts were both Australian music comedians - changing lyrics to a tune and singing along.

One made a string of songs using just 4 chords - that was fun.

Here they are - Axis of Awesome - quality of video not fantastic though...





Food for thought: Why are enjoyable moments transient?

Today is a very sad day

'Today is a very sad day...."

That's the first thing boss said to me when he walked by my desk this morning.


I looked out, and indeed, it looked grey.


Went to Dempsey Hill to grab some bites and drinks at Margaritas.


Mexican food - haha - reminded me of my days in Mexico city.

Headed to Handle Bar for more drinks.

Spoke about HK, about relationships....

Boss gave this analogy which I quite like:

'Everyone has their favourite mug, but once their favourite mug has a crack, do they throw it away?

No, people then start to store their favourite mug in a corner. But what's the point of keeping a cracked mug? It's just a matter of time before you chuck the cracked mug away - so better to do it sooner than later.'

Well, he obviously told it more convincingly.

Mae said something else, which her shrink told her:

'People are always evolving and if relationships don't evolve together with the persons, someone's bound to be left behind.'

Boss also gave me a farewell gift which he kept saying I can have it exchanged in T&co singapore if I don't like it... but I love it! I don't think I can say my thanks enough for the times spent at I-A-L.

I don't like farewells - I cried my heart out. It's gonna be worse on 10th aug. gosh.

It's my last day

Here I am

on the eve of my last day of work

pen in hand

I clearly remembered my first day of work

where we had our first lunch

my first project and the ones that followed

my first overseas assignment in Taiwan

I wrote my 'thank you's to Boss and (ex) colleagues

who had been so extremely sweet -

he wrote:

'Dear all,

Poh Chin has decided to leave for the bright lights of Hong Kong and Synovate. In the long history, I have rarely tried so hard to keep an employee. Sadly, despite my every effort, she could not be induced to stay.

Poh Chin has been with us for over three years, in which time she had become a consummate research professional, mastering every aspect of the job from interviewing, to analysis, to project management and even business development. Her last day in the office will be this Friday July 25th.

She will be sorely missed.'

And I will miss them too.

A brand new skin

I love my new blog skin!

I suppose the past is not easy to let go...

it's the past that shape me into who i am now.

The memories will always stay with me.

I had a new hair cut today too -

stephen thinks it's cool.

I think i need to get used to the look.

We went on a quick tour to mustafa this evening

where I happily got myself a new casio old school watch. :)

It's a period of changes -

new hair cut / colour

new specs

i'm removing my braces (finally!)

Perhaps change is the only constant.

The past the past

An old friend told me recently

he's starting to read my posts since day 1.

It made me go through my posts again

and it's strange how I can still feel the exact emotions felt when I pen them

the scenes flashed across my mind were vivid

I guess this site puts forth a pretty complete picture of what's been happening

over the past 3 years.

I'm starting a new chapter in my life in a couple of weeks' time.

maybe it calls for a shift in blog site too, u think?

Of packing

I have been packing

my belongings, my memories.

It's tough going through these

knowing some you can bring along with you

while others you must leave behind.

Haven't been in the pink of health lately

so spent quite some time staying at home

I woke up today and spent a little longer in bed

looking out the window, watching the ceiling

listening.

I want to remember this.

And there are the other million things I remember

of you.

Do I want to remember these?

perhaps it's not even an act of remembering

it's just a very natural association

and there are too many of these associations

in every corner i turn.

A friend advised, and asked if i'd regret this

As much as I want to say yes

I really don't know

I guess I can only find out

by moving forward.

it still stabs like a dagger through the heart.

Pain

I don't even have words for it.

do I really want this?

Mulling over the options

When one door closes, another one opens

or in my case now, two more opened.

I finally plucked up my courage to approach boss this morning

white envelope in my head

one look at it and he knows what's going on in my head

'do you have some time for coffee downstairs?'

'Sure.'

Awkward silence while waiting for the elevator....

'So...you're resigning...'

'Yea, i've accepted an offer in Hong Kong'

Shocked look on face.

'This is not a good year for me.'

(I know.)

I told boss this is an opportunity for me to work overseas

he went into a rage

'but i've sent you overseas!'

I got pricked by guilt at this moment...

'I know boss.. but .. but.. '

'Well, is there anything I can do to make you stay?'

I should have said no. I should have said I've made up my mind.

And then he carried on...

'a longer secondment in hk? more responsibilities? anything?'

And i made the mistake of telling him the plans i made,

the route i had in my mind

to go from working in a boutique firm, and progress to a larger organisation

I love research, and I believe in the work I'm doing

and i'm lucky i have good appreciative clients.

I told him my old plan of trying to find a job in australia - to be closer to my dad, mr goh (when he studies there)

'What if we place you in the sydney office? You'll be doing something different in sydney, helping out our partner with a different job scope...'

Attractive... very attractive... it's an option.

and I hate making decisions.

This is IT.

This is it.

I have made my decision.

It will be a new direction,

it is exactly as I have planned,

as I have dreamed...

just didn't expect it to be Hong Kong.

I'm learning the lesson of letting go -

getting out of the comfort zone to explore new possibilities

giving up all the perks (frequent travels, extreme flexibility, etc etc)

so many loved ones, friends, things I will miss

such is letting go...

and I can't hide my excitement

such is the conflict of emotions in me.

wish me luck.

HK - BKK

it's been a while.


the one week in HK felt longer than a week.


watched SATC the second time in HK (uncut version) on mon

didn't cry as much, but laughed harder

TUES night: went for a dance class with zhijin

Choice of music: Falling out, by Keyshia Cole

It was way good. The instructor was way good. Couldn't say the same for myself. I've slowly lost the passion for dance. I danced thinking that my steps were not good enough. extremely conscious of my moves.

I should be dancing without any inhibitions. why didn't i?

WED: never a good idea to skip lunch. I had two dresses, one blouse, a ring, a thinning wallet and an empty stomach.

Dinner was at RED at IFC with Fion and Steph. Healthy fusion food - i like. So much laughing my stomach ached.

Got tipsy with glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon, and the world started spinning, and slow dancing, and i was ... smiling. :)

THURS: butterflies in stomach. I hadn't gone for an interview in years. I mean, i meet people and conduct interviews/discussions with them... but this is different - although I thought i did farely well. I'm surprised how at ease i was when i was there. please. make it happen. Before Sunset.

FRI: the 13th. Two presentations, same set of materials, to two different groups of people. Five hours altogether. My throat was killing me. I stopped myself from talking the next couple of hours.

Dinner at cwb with fion - this girl can't bear to have me away from hk. haha. what would i do in hk without her...

It started pouring - the red storm warning. My cable signal went haywire and images appeared in spurts and slow motion. Not a good time to stay home, so we headed out to beijing club - where (I curse the day he was born!) idiot man grabbed my boobie. The Jager bomb got me. I puked that night. =.=

and I realise i don't have tears no more. why?

SAT: Mega junk day, or supposed to be mega junk day. But the rain wouldn't stop. So everybody stayed in bed, until it's time for brunch, at the press room. And it's time for me to pack my luggage, and get ready for the land of smiles.

Wanton shrimp soup and a couple rounds of walk around CWB and the girls were headed to the ifc for more shopping and lotsa sushi eating. zhijin and eileen said i have to try desserts at 'sift' before i leave hk. Best i ever had. =)

It's becoming a ritual - to go prive during the last night in hk. It was still raining, we were drenched, but spirits were not. I cannot even imagine how we ran in the rain in our high heels. Must be quite a sight. haha

SUN: Yum cha and all those philosophical talk about karma, random talk about 90's cartoon, bryan adam music.

And i almost missed my flight again.

I was the last passenger to board, but it's definitely not the last time i'm reaching the gate on the dot.

SUAN LUM with eileen - felt surreal. Feels like we never left singapore. Sooo much to catch up on, in the span of a week and she's gone back to sg the next morning.

man, i wish i can be home.

i wonder if it's a sign that I'm starting to feel more comfortable in HK

like i should belong here

then again, if you spend enough time in a place you like

you should feel this way?

had dim sum lunch at a local (very local) teahouse in central

Lian Xiang Lou

I'm hanging out with Kain and Eric like a guy

as eric aptly puts it

And went to his place to watch Saw 4.

tmd gruesome

but I haven't watched a scary movie for a reallllllly long time

did me some good

Dinner with Fion, AJ was good

just like the good old days

KTV as usual was a blast :D

The weather yesterday was perfect

sun, mountains, waters

with Joanna wang crooning her tunes

did me real good.

Black rainstorm Saturday

I picked a really bad time to arrive HK

the roads were flooded

the flight was extremely bumpy nearing HK

the luggages were late cos of a technical glitch

no cars can come in/go out of the airport

Airport express was damn packed, with extremely long Qs

I took 2.5 hours to reach central

Not exactly the most perfect airport experience

but the rest of the day made up for it

Had a good time out with Jason and Kain

drinking (non-alcoholic), and just talking nonsense

it feels like a holiday

I don't want to go to work

haha.

my teeth still ache :( and i've got mouth and tongue ulcers

how nice is that.

stayed in last night, but was awake til 2.30

woke up at 830 for some strange reason

and started doing face masks and what not

it's definitely therapeutic

:)

couldn't go mountain biking/hiking as planned

cos there are warnings of landslide :(

I MUST get some work done today.

So i can enjoy the public holiday tmr. :)

Patience does the trick

So the long hours of work is continuing for another week

as Boss switches to Plan B

we're preparing the Executive summary

even before we're done with the main reports

I haven't been exactly 110% productive at work either

this long drawn warfare is wearing me out

Colleague asked me yesterday

when do i think all these will end

she hasn't been spending time with her family and children

she asked me if i have other weekend plans

besides working,

and I answered yes,

but work is my priority now.

Afterwards, I wondered how true that is.

Did I say it cos I want to motivate her to work harder

finish her part of the god damn project

or did i really mean it.

I know there's some neglect for family and loved ones

I will make up for it

and just hope that it won't be too late.

The lilies are wilting...

but I was in for more surprise

when the lily buds bloomed.